#i could talk about how all you can do is sit and watch it happen

[bytemee]

HOUSE OF BALLOONS — YU JIMIN.

“you're in my world now, you can stay, you can stay. but you belong to me, ooh, you belong to me."

synopsis. karina wasn’t used to sharing. seeing you laugh with someone else? that didn’t sit right with her.

pairing. mean!sorority!karina x loser!gp!reader

warning(s). 18+ (smut), g!p reader, pet names (she calls u puppy like it’s ur name), unprotected sex, p in v, jealous!karina, dom!karina, sub!reader and bad writing ahaa...

words. 1.6k

authors note. i could go for a chipotle burrito but damn do they be taxing

karina was used to having all eyes on her. she was the kind of girl who walked into a room and made everyone else feel like background noise. and you—shy, awkward, always fumbling over your words—were her favorite plaything.

it wasn’t like you were dating. she just liked keeping you close, liked the way you turned red when she got too close, and liked knowing that you’d drop everything the second she called.

but tonight, you weren’t where you were supposed to be.

she had invited you to the party—expected you to hover near her like always, expected you to wait for her to give you attention. but instead, you were downstairs, sitting on the couch, laughing at something some random girl said.

karina didn’t like that.

she watched from across the room, arms crossed, lips pursed, as she saw the way you were smiling—actually smiling—in front of someone else.

when the girl leaned in a little too close, touching your arm, something snapped.

before you even realized what was happening, karina was in front of you, slipping between you and the girl with a sickly sweet smile.

"oh, i see you’ve met my little puppy," she said smoothly, tilting her head. "careful with this one. she gets nervous around new people.”

you were about to open your mouth to say something then she sat down on your lap, draping her arms over your shoulders. you swallowed hard, your face going pink, completely caught off guard.

karina had always been shameless with her teasing, but this—this was different. she was staking a claim, making sure everyone in the room knew exactly who you belonged to.

the girl you had been talking to gave an awkward laugh, clearly unsure of what to do now that karina had inserted herself into the situation.

"uh, i was just—"

"leaving?" karina finished for her, still smiling, though it was obvious she wanted her gone.

the girl hesitated, looking between the two of you before mumbling some excuse and disappearing into the crowd.

you barely had a second to process what just happened before karina’s fingers were suddenly in your hair, twirling a loose strand between her fingers as she leaned in even closer.

your eyes widened, your face burning up under the intense stare she was giving you. you swallowed thickly, your hands gripping the couch, unsure of where else to put them.

and then, just when you thought she couldn't get any closer, she did, her lips brushing against your ear. "don't look so surprised, puppy."

she pulled away just enough to look into your eyes again. then she got up from your lap, smoothing out her skirt before grabbing your hand and pulling you upstairs, away from all the prying eyes.

and you let her.

karina didn’t waste a second. she shoved you into the first empty room she found, kicking the door shut behind her before pinning you against the wall.

it didn’t matter whether you were hers in name—because in every way that counted, you were. and tonight, she was making sure everyone knew it.

her lips crashed against yours, rough and claiming, like she had something to prove. and maybe she did. maybe she needed to remind you exactly where you belonged.

karina was a damn good kisser, and the longer she kissed you, the harder it got to stand on your own. your fingers curled into her shirt, clinging to her for support, a quiet gasp slipping past your lips.

she loved this. loved how easily she could pull you apart, how simple it was to make you forget everything but her.

when she finally pulled away, a thin strand of saliva still connected you for a brief second before it snapped, leaving you breathless. your head spun, your lips swollen, and you just stood there, waiting—because she was the one in control, and you both knew it.

her nails raked across your skin, making their way under your shirt, and you bit your lip, trying to hold back a moan.

"you don't want anyone else, do you, hm?" she asked, her voice low and soft. she leaned in again, her lips brushing against your jaw, the gentle touch a sharp contrast to the way her nails dug into your hips.

you shook your head quickly, your heart racing in your chest, because no, no, you only wanted her. you only ever wanted her.

karina hummed, satisfied, her grip tightening just enough to make you gasp. "good," she murmured, "because i don't like sharing."

her teeth grazed your skin, and your breath hitched, fingers twitching where they hovered uncertainly at your sides. you wanted to touch her, wanted to pull her closer, but you knew better than to move without permission.

she noticed, of course she did, and it made her smirk against your throat. "what is it, puppy?" she taunted. "you want to touch me?"

you nodded, swallowing hard. "please," you whispered, barely able to get the word out.

karina pulled back just enough to look at you, tilting her head like she was considering it. her fingers trailed up your sides before she finally grabbed your wrists and guided your hands under her skirt until your fingers brushed against her underwear.

"there," she breathed out. "is that what you wanted?"

she was so wet, and the thought that she was this turned on because of you—because she was claiming you as her own—made you whine, the sound almost desperate.

"karina," you pleaded, the bulge in your pants growing more uncomfortable by the second.

karina's smirk widened. "you want me to touch you?" she asked, her breath hot against your ear.

you nodded frantically, still unable to form words, too overwhelmed by desire to do anything except obey.

"use your words." karina's grip tightened on your wrists.

"please," you whimpered, voice shaking. "please, touch me, i need you."

she hummed, satisfied. "that's what i like to hear."

and then her fingers were working at the buttons of your jeans, her other hand reaching under your shirt, sliding up your stomach before pressing against it to push you onto the bed, her lips finding yours in a searing kiss that left you breathless.

"karina," you moaned. "i—fuck..."

she didn't waste any time. as soon as you were flat on the bed, she crawled on top of you, straddling your waist, grinding against your thigh as her fingers wrapped around your cock.

karina chuckled, clearly amused by your reaction. "you're so sensitive," she purred, her hand moving slowly, teasingly.

you whimpered, your hips moving involuntarily. you were starting to unravel, quickly losing control. karina knew it, and she loved it.

"is this what you wanted, puppy?" she asked, her lips brushing against your neck. "you like it when i touch you like this?"

all you could manage was a ragged moan in response.

her hand moved faster, sending a shock through your system, and you threw your head back, eyes squeezing shut. it felt so fucking good, and you couldn't think, couldn't speak, could only let her do whatever she wanted.

then suddenly she stopped.

your eyes snapped open, and you let out a whine, desperate for more.

karina ignored you, instead pulling her underwear down, kicking it to the side before she straddled your waist again, lining herself up with your cock.

her hands pressed against your chest for balance as she started to move, rolling her hips at an excruciatingly slow pace.

you groaned, your fingers digging into the sheets, trying to keep yourself from just taking over and flipping your positions. you knew that would just earn you a sharp slap and a scolding, something that you would much rather avoid.

karina leaned down, hovering her underwear above your mouth, a wicked glint in her eyes.

"open up," she commanded.

you obeyed, and she stuffed the fabric into your mouth. it tasted like her, and the thought of that alone made you twitch inside her.

your hands moved to grip her thighs, fingers pressing into the soft skin, holding her steady as she rocked her hips.

she let out a breathy moan as you tightened your grip on her. "fuck," she panted, her breaths coming in short gasps. "just like that."

you tried to say something, but all that came out was muffled by the underwear she had shoved into your mouth. karina smirked, her pace increasing, the heat in her core growing stronger, spreading through her body. she threw her head back, a few strands of hair sticking to her forehead.

"fuck," she groaned. "i'm gonna cum."

she could feel it building, her walls clenching around you, and she knew she was close. she knew the sight of her falling apart would send you over the edge, too, and that's what she wanted, needed, craved.

her grip tightened, nails digging into your chest, her breathing erratic, her hips rocking faster, harder. she was right there, teetering on the edge, and then finally, she toppled over.

"fuck!" she cried out, her orgasm ripping through her, her legs trembling.

the moment she started to come undone, so did you, unable to hold back any longer; you groaned into the underwear, your head thrown back, your spine arching off the mattress, thrusting your hips upwards as you came.

your hands held her in place, gripping her thighs so hard they would leave marks, but neither of you cared.

karina slumped against you, her chest heaving, her face buried in the crook of your neck. she was panting, trying to catch her breath, and you could feel the rapid beat of her heart against your skin.

after a few moments, she pulled away, sitting back on your lap, a satisfied smile on her face. she reached forward and slowly pulled the underwear out of your mouth, her gaze fixed on you, taking in the aftermath of what she had done to you.

"mmm, looks like my puppy is satisfied."

you blinked, trying to clear the haze from your mind, but all you could focus on was the sight of her sitting on top of you, the mess dripping down her thighs, her cheeks flushed and her lips swollen.

she looked so perfect.

"do you understand now?" she asked, a teasing lilt in her voice. "no one else gets to touch you like this. no one but me."

you nodded, still unable to find your words.

"good," she purred, leaning in and kissing you, soft and gentle, a stark contrast to how she had been before.

[harryhighkey]

hungover with in-ho

headcanons of a morning with a hungover fem!reader and her older bf hwang in-ho

this is different from what i normally do but wanted to try it out, lmk what you think pls!

__________

you would wake up to the aircon a few degrees cooler than normal, but the blanket and sheets are tight around you, so you're cosy. in-ho is very observant and knows you sleep better with a cooler temp in the air but kept warm by bedding. he wanted to make sure you got a good sleep when you finally got in last night so he made sure the room was cool before tucking you in.

you open your eyes and see your water bottle is on the bedside table filled with icy cold water, a box of painkillers sit beside it for the hungover headache in-ho was sure you were going to wake up with after how drunk you were. you take two pills and gulp it down with water. you sigh in relief at the cold water coating your throat and treat yourself to some more mouth-fulls. you think about getting up but you're not ready, instead you drop your head back to the pillow and groan at how hungover you feel.

because you slept in late, in-ho is already up. he's still in the clothes he went to bed in. he's tired from waiting up for you, drinking a coffee in the kitchen. but as he hears the sound of your water bottle being placed down followed by you groaning he comes back to the bedroom. he's annoyed with you. you left yesterday at 2:52pm and had told him you were only going out for a few drinks with friends and would be back in a few hours. then you got home at 3:24am. you'd also completely ignored your phone the whole night, which meant all of in-ho's texts and calls had gone unanswered. you didn't do it on purpose, you were just drunk and having fun with your friends.

"what happened to 'just a few drinks'?" you open your eyes again at the sound of your boyfriend and roll onto your back to see him standing beside the bed. he doesn't sound happy and his face matches his pissed off tone. your voice is whiny and croaky from just waking up as you answer him. "don't be mad at me, i don't feel well." he almost folds. almost. but he's been harbouring over this all night and morning. "i was worried. you didn't answer your phone once. do you have any idea how many times i called? i had no idea what you were doing, if you were safe-" "in-ho, please." you interrupt him, lifting the sheets and pulling them over your head to hide away.

he'd get back into the bed then, determined to let you know last night wasn't okay. he's extremely overprotective when it comes to you, that paired with his control issues had him panicking last night. he grabs the sheets to see your face again but you keep them locked over your head. you both know he could overpower you, so you speak out instead. "you can come under and talk, but you have to whisper under here, it's the one sacred under the sheet rule."

he rolls his eyes and sighs. but because he loves you, he gives into your game. he's still annoyed but your silly act of defiance has softened his resolve slightly. he joins you under the sheets, both of you now laying on your sides and facing each other. you know he's angry at you so you're trying not to laugh at your older boyfriend giving into your playful suggestion. he sees the smile you're trying to hide and then it's his turn to try not to laugh. you crack first, your laugh sounding out and his does right after. you are sunshine to him, even annoyed at you, he finds it impossible to not be lit up by you.

"come here." he snakes his arms around you and pulls you into him, you easily melt against him, your hands coming to his face as you kiss. it's intense, firm but quick. your lips come apart with a smack.

you keep your hands on his face, your fingertips leaving tiny patterns into his skin as he talks. you watch as he frowns again, this time it wasn't complete anger, it was also out of stress. "i was worried about you." subconsciously, his arms tighten around you. you nod. you explain to him what happened, how you honestly just lost track of time. he scolds you for not sending him an update that you would be out late, ending it with a "...i have to know you're safe, baby."

"i promise next time i will." you assure him. "next time?!" he's already stressing over the thought of you out drunk into all hours of the night again.

you distract him by kissing him again. it turns heated quickly, his hands slipping under your shirt.

between kisses and skilful hand movements, you now find yourself under him, topless. "we better get out of these sheets, you're about to do a lot more than whisper, my girl."

it's lucky the aircon is still set at a lower temp than normal because you two build up quite a sweat once you're both naked and you & in-ho spend the rest of what's left of the morning with him buried inside of you.

[slimybeth69]

Part 3- Your People

Series Masterlist | Part 1 | Part 2

Summary: After the civilized world you once knew came to an end-- the men that survived... well they just take, take, take. Growing tired of having things taken from you-- you have a hankerin' to take somethin' for yourself... and make him perfect.

w/c~ 8k

content warnings: Reader (no descriptions besides having hair that can be pulled) is in a weird mindset; hears voices, talks to herself. non-con/dub-con (if you're looking for enthusiastic consent, ya wont find it here) smut, cock-warming, unprotected P in V, creampies, oral (m&f receiving), rough sex, dirty talk, pussy and peen pronouns, alcohol consumption (altered mental state). Joel wears a shock collar and other various horrible things that would keep him in check-- and he doesn't fucking like it.

Reader warning- While it looks real pretty, this is a Dead Dove, Do Not Eat. If ya do and then come complaining to me that you ate a dead dove-- I'm gonna fight you. I warned you. I'm coming from a place of love and respect for my readers who have ever gone through anything traumatic and maybe don't want to relive that, it's in here. I try and do it tastefully and respectfully in the best way, i'll mark it with a lil divider where you can skip the part I'm worried about. it's smut but it's sad. There is your warning. I love you.

You gotta sleep, kid. You need it.

Mister-J looks so warm and comfortable… go on and crawl in beside him.

He does look so comfortable and inviting, especially from your spot just out of his reach if you were to fall asleep. His chest rises and falls slowly as he breathes in his sleep. It’s memorizing, and almost hypnotic enough to make you forget all of your fears— forget all of the things that made laying next to him with his arms around you physically excruciating.

S’okay, Baby. You’ll get there, it’ll get easier ‘n he won’t seem so big ‘n scary anymore.

There is a reason he seems big and scary, kid. Your gut is telling you not to trust him, so don’t.

Oh, stop it. If he wanted to kill her, he would have— he would have done it by now. He’s big ‘n strong— he could, and he hasn’t.

That sweet, soft voice does have a good point…

Doesn’t mean he isn’t waiting for a better opportunity.

The dark, serious voice has a point too…

This always happens, the voices say things that conflict one another, but they both have a point. They both make sense but never about the same thing. And they argue. And they’re loud. It’s only when you need them, that you really, really want them to say something that they are quiet.

The little flashlight that had been attached to the backpack Mister-man—

Joel… he has a name. He’s a real person, kid.

You flick the flashlight off quickly so it’s dark again.

Mister-mans, Mister-J… Joel… it don’t matter none, Sugar. He’s yours, and you can call him whatever you want.

You flick the light back on so you can watch him sleep. It’s incredible how calm he is, and how he fell asleep as soon as you laid down next to him after saying he couldn’t sleep.

Sometimes that happens to you though, sometimes you need to touch yourself, and make yourself squirm and moan and come, and then sleep finds you. Sometimes the whiskey puts you to sleep before you even have the desire to do that to yourself.

Whatever Mister-J did with his tongue was so much better than your fingers, wasn’t it?

It most definitely was. It was probably the most incredible feeling you’ve ever experienced. Not that you hadn’t ever experienced it before, but this time…it was soft, gentle— and you wanted it more than anything. That made it feel even fucking better, how badly you wanted to sit down on Mister-mans face and grind down onto his mouth.

He was making out with your cunt. Deep, long, tongue swirling kisses. He would open and close his mouth, and suck. He would lick and lap at all spots you didn’t even know could make you feel good.

When you would take his cock deep in your throat and gag on it, he would moan- loudly-and the vibrations from that were like earthquakes, they touched parts inside of you that were left unexplored by anyone before Mister.

He was perfect.

The idea of laying your head down on his big, muscular bicep was nice until you were actually doing it, and then everything about it felt foreign. It was like sleeping too close to the fire, surrounded by too many blankets.

You had gotten so used to sleeping alone, that the feeling of someone next to you didn’t feel right anymore. It made you sad and you’re not entirely sure why.

So that’s why you’re here on the floor and not snuggled up against Mister-man. It’s like the universe played some cruel joke on you- and you got your favorite food but when you bite into it, it’s rancid.

But your fingers twitch toward him anyway—like roots in dirt searching for water. His arm is right there. His breath is slow and steady.

Go on. He’s warm as fresh bread.

You shift an inch closer.

Dangerous as a snake in the grass.

But his skin smells like leather and sweat and you want to taste him again. Want to run your tongue from the tip of his cock, to the spot just in front of his ear that makes him sigh when you kiss him there.

Crawling—quiet like scared prey— you move until your face hovers over his chest. His shirt rides up just enough to show a scar on his perfectly doughy stomach. And another on his rib cage. It looks newer, still old enough to be a scar, but pink instead of white.

You wonder if it aches when he breathes. If that’s the reason his voice sounds like gravel sometimes.

He’ll crush you.

He’ll hold you.

It sounds like a song the way the sweet voice says it.

You touch the scar with your pinky finger, feather-light—and he doesn’t stir. But then he sighs—a rumble deeper than thunder—and your guts twist.

You scramble back, heart slamming against the back of your throat.

The sweet voice clucks at you.

You’re spooking yourself. 

You’re alive because you spook.

The flashlight rolls under your knee when you shift—plastic clattering loud enough to wake dead things—and Mister’s brow tightens. For one gut-drop second, his eyes flicker open, staring up at you, before he grunts and turns onto his side, back to you now.

He’s mad again? How, and why? What did you do wrong? You had done everything right.

You keep poking that bear and you’re going to get mauled, kid.

He ain’t mad…look’it his hands, Sugar.

They’re not balled up into fists, they’re relaxed. His whole body is. Everything about him seems so at peace.

Your stomach growls loud enough to wake the dead. It’s been a while since you’ve eaten— and then you only had half of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich, and some whiskey.

Joel’s boot shifts with a dry scrape of leather—and your lungs forget how air works. But he just mumbles something that sounds like “goddamn horse” with his face smushed against the pillow.

Mister-J talks in his sleep? He’s precious.

He is. It’s hard to contain the feeling in your chest when he sighs loudly, rolling onto his stomach, curling his arms under the pillow.

Instead of trying to face your fears of crawling into bed with him and falling asleep next to someone else, you crawl on your hands and knees back to the chair across the room. The whiskey bottle is still tucked between the cushion where you left it.

--

Even with almost half of a bottle of whiskey in you, your eyes won’t close. You only know what time it is because the soft whir of the solar powered generator kicks on, and the singular lamp in the corner flicks to life. It’s dark outside now. 

The electric hum from the bulb makes your skin crawl, and your head buzz.

Part of you feels bad for keeping Mister down here like this. He doesn’t even know what time it is, he’ll probably wake up soon, getting ready to start the day. You wonder if he misses the sun, if he ever walked barefoot in the grass and if he misses that feeling too.

When you weren’t allowed outside, you missed the sun. You missed the grass between your toes. You missed being able to jump into the river and swim around with your brother whenever you wanted. There were a lot of things you missed when you weren’t allowed to go outside.

Unscrewing the whiskey cap, you take a swig and relish in the way it burns. It drowns out the voices, but it doesn’t dull the ache between your legs— the memory of his mouth makes you shift in the soft recliner.

In the soft, pale light spilling into the room from behind the aged, yellow lampshade, you can see Mister-J… and how excited he is. He’s on his back, shirt riding up over his stomach again, the bulge in his sweatpants clear as day now.

There is a new voice you’ve never heard before, and it’s not saying anything— only screaming. Loud, and high pitched. It’s excruciating. It’s the only thing you hear now, not even the sound of your own voice telling you what to do, or what to think or say.

When you stand, the whiskey sloshes between your temples. It makes you sway and almost lose your balance, but you press your hand to a support beam that juts out of the floor and into the ceiling.

Heavy, clumsy, limping feet and a swollen ankle carry you to Mister-J.

His cock is hard and heavy in your hand and he tastes just like he did last night. He stirs under your touch—a low groan vibrating through clenched teeth—and your pussy tightens around nothing. Mister arches his hips up against your slow moving fist, trying to fuck your hand momentarily before stilling and settling back down into the mattress. His eyes are still shut tight beneath furrowed eyebrows.

It’s pathetically cute how bad he wants this. How badly he needs it.

The screaming inside your head morphs into static.

Your fingers rub slow circles over damp fabric between your legs while your rib cage starts to feel like a hive of wasps. Everything inside of you is buzzing as you lean over and swirl your tongue around the ridge of his cock.

Wrong.

That dark voice sounds like it’s coming through the static like old radio stations.

You pull your hand away from Mister-J's cock and cover your face with it, trying to hold back the tears that are threatening to spill. This is all wrong, all of it.

S’right. It’s all right.

The static transmutes into tornado sirens.

Your hand finds his cock again and it throbs in your grasp. There is no hesitation when you take him into your mouth with a gentleness you didn’t know you possessed when you’re this intoxicated. Delicate movements and laps of your tongue along his shaft make him moan softly, still slumbering.

Salt and musk take over your senses as he pulses against your tongue—wanting even in his unconsciousness. Your throat spasms around him as you gag, tears hot on your lashes. One hand brushes against his thigh as you move to steady yourself on the mattress while the other slips into your own waistband. Two fingers slide into you with no resistance. You’re so wet that you almost feel embarrassed.

Inside.

The sweet voice sings to you over the cacophony going on inside your head.

Mister’s hips jerk again, involuntary, desperate. A string of saliva connects your lip to his cock when you pull back to breathe. The room tilts—whiskey and shame on your tongue—but you don’t stop. Can’t stop. Not when his thighs were trembling just a moment ago.

After kicking your shorts off, you climb on top. Mister feels so hot pressed up against your cunt. Yours and his breath catch in your throats when you sink down into his lap. Your eyes close to hide from the stretch that burns in a slippery, and shameful way.

The wasps behind your ribs sharpen their stingers as you slowly start to rock your hips against his. Mister’s eyelids flutter but he doesn’t wake-up, not fully. He just hovers in that feverish space between dreaming and drowning. A place you’re familiar with.

Bad. Bad. Bad.

Good. Good. Good.

You want to carve yourself into his bones before the tornado sirens rip your skull apart.

The oven mitts make useless fists at his sides as he arches beneath you, tendons in his neck pulled wire-tight. His hips stutter upward instinctively, chasing more friction, seeking the deepest, warmest parts of you.

His eyes snap open, “The fuck are you—” Mister-man’s voice is rough like sandpaper but you don’t let him finish before you slap your hand over his mouth.

“Shhhh, makin’ you feel good,” you moan quietly, your hips never faltering. His cock slides across a spot inside of you that whites the edges of your vision.

He mumbles something, his teeth scraping along your palm as he does so. It vaguely sounds like, ‘Get off’a me’ or ‘get off on me,’.

“M’tryin’,” you groan, catching your bottom lip between your teeth. Your cheeks are wet, but from tears or sweat, you don’t know.

How can everything make sense up here on top of Mister-J, and still feel so incredibly… wrong?

The oven mitts start to drum against your thighs as he squirms underneath you.

It…hurts? Mister is hitting you? 

Hurting you.

You like it. 

“Knock it off!” You press harder against this mouth with your hand, your fingers digging into his cheeks. It’s impossible to stop riding him, to stop yourself from needing this brutal closeness with Mister. 

You’re being bad. 

You like it. 

His muffled growls vibrate against your palm—angry or pleading or both—but your cunt clenches harder around him anyway. Release is so close, you can feel yourself teeter on the precipice, but you can’t seem to push yourself over.

“Please, please, p-please— jus’ wanna, I just wanna— please, please, Mister-J,” you whine, face wet with perspiration and tears now, they’re flowing freely from your eyes. “I want it, need it—”

“Stop, goddammit—” he shouts at you from behind your fingers.

It makes you flinch but you don’t stop, and your pussy pulses around him. Your hand presses harder, fingernails leaving moon crescents in his flesh mingled with his stubble.

You just want to feel good, to be able to fall asleep once this is all over.

Oven mitts thump and scrabble at your hip, and that only makes your thighs clamp tighter around his waist. You want to swallow every twitch of his cock, everything he can give you– you want it. 

He bucks his hips up into you and touches a place inside you that leaves you gasping for air. “Yes, yes, yes—” you groan breathlessly, leaning forward to lay your body on top of his, resting your forehead against his collarbone.

Mister bucks his hips up into yours again— once, twice, three times and suddenly you’re being shoved off of him, pushed to the side like you’re weightless.

Before you can really even know what hit you, Mister-man has his entire body weight pinning you down underneath him. He has his forearm forced against your neck.

Your thumb instinctively presses against down, searching for the shock collar button but you just end up pressing against your own palm.

The static, and the sirens and the screaming— the voices. It all goes completely silent and the only thing you can hear is the blood roaring in your ears.

Mistake?

Mistake. 

“Got’chya,” He growls down at you, his eyes dark and blown wide.

“Get off me! Get off me! Get off of me!” You scream at him as loudly as you can, “Get off of me! Get off! Off, off, offoffoffoff! I’ll fucking kill you, you stupid fucking sonofabitch- get the fuck off me!”

“Awhh, lil crazy puppy don’t like it?” He murmurs, pressing his lips to your tear stained cheekbone.

Your legs begin to flail wildly in an attempt to dislodge him, push him, get him off. Your hands flying to his face, scratching and clawing at the soft skin, and his vulnerable, delicate eyes. You can’t find the words for how much you don’t like it, so you scream— it’s loud and rattles in the back of your throat as Mister-man clamps his hand over your mouth to silence you.

His breath is hot and ragged against your ear, the oven mitts clumsily grappling at your wrists as you thrash. "Stop—fuckin'—fightin’—," he grits out, but his voice cracks on the last word.

You taste copper—your teeth sink into his palm at some point, his blood smearing your chin. He pulls his hand back back to look at the broken skin, and you clench your eyes shut, flinching away from the incoming blows.

The room tilts and suddenly Joel’s weight isn’t just on your body; it’s inside your head, like pressure forcing memories that had buried deep to the surface like lava from a volcano.

Different hands holding you down. A different room. Different voices in your ear.

“Nononononono,” you whimper in a shriveled voice you don’t recognize. 

“Hey!” Joel’s voice is sharp and grounding.

His arm lets up just enough for you to suck in a shattered breath. You’re both trembling now, your chests heaving against one anothers. His beard scratches your temple as he turns his face away from your clawing hands, but you don’t miss it—there is a  flicker in his eyes when your choked sob hits the air between you. 

Something wet smears your cheek. His blood? Your tears? It’s hard to tell. 

“M’gonna make you feel real good, crazy girl.” His lips brush your earlobe as his hips grind down into yours, the length of him sliding between your folds, the tip notched at your entrance.

“Stop,” you whine, but the force has left your voice. Something about him breathing in your ear, something about the sound he makes as he shifts his hips and slips himself inside of you. The tears continue to fall, even as you gasp and clench around him. 

“She’s suckin’ me right in baby,” Joel purrs in your ear while his hips start to move. 

You can feel every fucking inch of him, every vein, and every single beat of his heart through the slick walls of your cunt. “Oh god,” you groan, your stiff, frightened hands curling in the hair on the back of his head, the other gripping one of his strong, strained biceps. 

You're terrified, but Joel's words and touch are overwhelming you, making your body respond in ways you didn’t know could in a position like this.

He thrusts slowly at first as he sinks deeper inside you. But soon his pace quickens and the slapping, wet sounds coming from between your legs fill the small basement room. "Yeah just like that," Mister groans, his lips ghosting over your cheek. "Take it all, baby girl.”

Your walls clench around him, pulling him in as if eager for more. You feel delirious with fear and an unbidden arousal. Tears stream down your face, but soft moans spill from your lips.

Joel licks at your tears and leaves gentle kisses in their place, his beard scraping against your sensitive skin. "Shhhh, I got you," he murmurs between thrusts.

The room spins and blurs as the pleasure builds. Nothing exists and nothing is real anymore; Mister-man’s weight pinning you down, his cock splitting you open, the sour, sweaty, musky scent of him.

He’s real. He’s real. He’s real. He’s real. He’s real and he’s good. He’s good, he’s good, he’s good. He’s not killing you, not hurting you.

So good. It’s so good.

You turn your head to capture his salty, tear stained lips with yours, opening your mouth to let him in. His lips press against yours desperately, tongue licking at your teeth as he slips inside.

Your body arches up to meet him, craving more of his touch even as fear still coils in your gut. It’s like you’re two separate people wrapped up into a whole. One part of you wants him with everything that you are, and the other is ready to hide, ready to slip into the cracks into the wall and never come out.

His oven mitts move to your waist and fumble with the threadbare shirt you have on, trying to push it up over the swell of your breasts.

“Fuck,” he grunts, nipping at your bottom lip as he pulls away from the kiss. He sits back on his knees, cock still throbbing inside of you while your walls flutter around him.

“Don’t, oh god, no. Please don’t go-” you sob, hands and fingers clawing at his forearms, desperate for him to come back. “P-Please don’t leave me,” you whine sadly, 

Mister says nothing as he places both mitt covered hands inside your shirt where it’s fastened with buttons. He pulls the two pieces of fabric apart like paper. The buttons fly in every direction, scattering across the floor and some landing in bed with you. Joel stares down at your naked body and you feel more exposed than you ever have in your entire life.

“Jesus christ,” he murmurs, eyes tracing every single one of your curves. His mittened hands cups the swell of your tits, thumb swiping over the stiff buds

It’s like you’ve been zapped by the shock collar. Your back arches into his hand, your eyes clamp shut.

“Nuh-uh, watch me,” he growls. He waits until your eyes are on him before he leans over and takes one of your nipples into his mouth. His tongue swirls and teeth graze and bite down.

“Oh my god,” you groan, your fingers gripping his hair tighter, your nails dragging red, almost bloody marks down his arm.

Mister releases your nipple with a wet pop, blowing cool air across it almost like he’s teasing you. Goosebumps erupt across your skin as he takes the other into his mouth, alternating between harsh sucking and tender kisses.

You mewl softly as he begins to thrust again, each movement slow and deliberate. He drives deep inside of you and hits that spot that blurs the edges of your vision again, and again, and again.

You stare up at him in awe- his beard is longer, thicker than it was when he first came here, his hair disheveled and damp with sweat hangs in his forehead. He leans back and pushes the loose strands away from his face with an oven mitt.

Handsome.

He is.

Strong.

Being so gentle.

With you, Sugar. So gentle—

With you.

"Please," you whimper, spine bowing as pleasure coils tight in your belly as his hips snap against yours loudly. “More. Need more…”

He grins down at you, eyes crinkled at the corners, “I’ll give ya’ more, sweetheart.” If you thought Mister was handsome before, when he smiles your heart swells. and the pressure and tightness inside of you feels like it’s about to burst.

He wraps one hand underneath your knee and brings it up, resting your ankle on his shoulder by his ear, repeating the process with the other leg. He grips your thighs, the scratchy fabric of the oven mitts drags across your skin. Joel never lets up, never slows down the brutal, bruising pace he sets. 

A string of expletives and maybe his name more than once spill out of your mouth quickly, stumbling over the words as your body trembles underneath him.

All of the air is pushed out of you as he leans over, pushing your knees up to your chest and starts fucking into you with deep, long strokes. His pelvis grinds against your swollen clit with each powerful snap forward, pushing you closer and closer to the edge.

"I can feel her squeezin’ me," he rasps hotly in your ear, licking the shell before biting down on your earlobe. “Come on my cock, crazy girl.”

That does it. It’s more than enough to push you over the edge. “Oh—” Your head tips back with a silent scream as your orgasm crashes through you like a tidal wave, making your entire body shudder and convulse beneath him. “Fuck… Joel!” Sparks burst behind your eyelids as pure rapture consumes you.

Mister sucks your earlobe as you come, his sweaty temple pressed against yours as the waves wash over you. He’s kissing and licking down to your neck, and bites down hard right over your pulse point, sucking hard enough to hurt. "That's it baby girl," he grunts against the spot he just bit.

It’s like your whole body is on fire, everything is too much, it’s all too good.

You feel a new pressure, a new sensation and it’s familiar, but foreign all at the same time. A new release, it’s different and it’s happening so fast.

“Stop! Oh my— Mist- Joel, p-please,” you plead for some sort of relief. “I’m gunna—”

Joel presses his lips to yours again, silencing you. You twist your head to the side, pulling away from his mouth as he kisses down your cheek to your jaw. “S’okay— let go...”

"I...I don't...can't..." You gasp out between ragged breaths. Hot, wet tears still leak from the corners of your eyes as the intense pleasure builds to an unbearable peak.

“Ya’ can,” he pants, resting his forehead on the side of your head. “Cryin’ only makes it feel better, baby girl.” He shifts his hips, angles them differently and fucks you harder- faster.

“P-Please,” you whimper, unsure if you’re begging him to stop, or to keep going. “S’too much!”

“Shut up,” he growls, nipping at your cheek gently, teeth scraping skin as he pistons into you relentlessly. “Let it happen, crazy girl.”

So you do- body obeying his command even as your mind reels with what’s about to happen. A second climax crashes over you, more intense than the first. It erupts from you in a wet splash against Mister’s lower stomach and pelvis, it drips down the curve of your ass and you feel it seeping into the mattress underneath you.

“Good fuckin’ girl,” he praises breathlessly. “Such a good fuckin’ girl cummin’ on Mister’s cock again.”

You sob in pleasure and embarrassment simultaneously as he fucks you through it, his deep voice rasping in your ear.

“Crazy,” He murmurs. His thrusts grow clumsy, and he’s panting in your ear, kissing the side of your face. His tongue captures the tears on your cheeks again like they’re his favorite drink as your fingers dig into the soft flesh on his shoulder. “Makin’ me fuckin’ crazy,” he snaps suddenly, pulling back and out of you completely.

You whimper at the loss but he presses your thighs together tightly with his hands and forearms, and slips his cock between them, the length siding through your wet folds.

Mister-J kisses your ankle, his teeth biting down on the skin as he groans loudly, warmth spreads and seeps between your thighs, and slick lower lips, the crease where your legs meet your pelvis.

You stare up at him, watching as his eyes close, his brow furrows, his hips jerking back and forth clumsily as he empties himself onto your lower half.

Your legs tremble as he slides his softening cock out from between your thighs. 

That was the most incredible, and intense feeling you’ve ever experienced and you’re not sure if you should love him, or hate him for what he just did to you. The wet spot on the mattress is an embarrassing reminder of what happened seconds ago.

“S’good for ya’?” Mister asks, running one of his oven mitts over his forehead, wiping the sweat away. His eyes move from your face, down your still naked body, his cum smeared across your mound and lower stomach.

You pull your shirt closed around your bare torso, holding it closed with one hand. You use your good foot and the other hand to push yourself onto the cold concrete floor— skin scraping roughly as you shove yourself away from him.

His brows pinch together tightly, and he narrows his eyes on you. “Where’re ya’ goin’?” He sounds… concerned? Angry? Disappointed?

The words don’t find you, thoughts don’t come to you anymore as you hold the shirt over your chest and glare at him. All you can do is scream at him. It comes from somewhere deep and your lungs hurt, your throat feels like it could bleed from how raw it is after.

“Where’re ya’ goin’?”

He watches as tears continue to pour down your cheeks, your face twisting up tightly. You inhale deeply, and it looks like you’re trying to regain your composure.

Then you scream at him. It’s long and loud and hurts his ears, but he stares at you until you’re done. He continues to watch as you scurry away from him in a clumsy, stumbling crab-crawl until your back bumps into the leg of the table. 

You flinch and stifle a sob, and finally take a deep, shaky breath. You use the table to push yourself to your feet, turning away from him finally. You shove the table in his direction, grabbing the shock collar remote before you turn, and limp into the bathroom, slamming the door shut behind you.

The dull roar of the infected grows louder from upstairs. They’re still there, and that means the two of you are stuck together for at least another day or two, maybe longer.

The door opens again, and a metal bucket comes hurdling out of the bathroom and through the air. It hits the wall, and drops to the floor noisily with chaotic, metal clangs until it comes to settle in the corner by the mattress.

The door slams shut again.

You’re broken, he can see it in your eyes almost all the time, but there was a moment when he was on top of you where he thought you might have completely checked out– gone somewhere else, somewhere he didn’t mean to take you. 

Traumatized the poor puppy. Pro’lly in there cryin’.

He’s not worried that you’re crying. Nope. Not even a little. 

Alright- that’s what you wanna keep tellin’ yourself, go right ahead. 

He’s worried he just signed his death certificate. 

Joel wasn’t trying to take anything from you— not like that. You were already on top of him, riding him, but you just looked like you needed some help, like you needed him to take control. Like you didn’t know what you were doing up there, rolling and swirling your hips in any direction. It wasn’t bad, but it wasn’t ever going to get you there- where you wanted to be so badly.

Joel took you there, made you fucking squirt all over him and he took some sense of pride in that. 

Joel helps himself to jerky and bread, he drinks as much water as his body will comfortably allow. For the first time in weeks, he’s actually full. His stomach feels like it’s stretched like he might actually burst. 

–-

At first Joel thought you just needed a couple minutes. Maybe you wanted to clean up in the privacy of the bathroom without his eyes on you. But hours go by and he hears nothing coming from the separate room. Nothing. 

It’s silent. Completely. No shrieking or clicking of the infected from upstairs either. 

It’s the lack of control that’s pissing him off more than he would care to admit. Being captive was of course at the top of his ‘things to be pissed off about’ list,  but if he was going to be stuck here with you, he wishes he could at least have a say in what goes on. 

Hasn’t seen the sun, hasn’t had a proper shower in god knows when, hasn’t had a real meal in just as long. If you would give him just a little more freedom, things wouldn’t be too fucking bad here. 

Now you’re gettin’ it. 

You’re making Joel crazy, now he’s thinking about complying?

Y’been complyin’, Mister. Complied real damn good in that bed just then.

Oh fuck. Fuck, fuck, fuck. Shit. 

Has Joel been complying? What the fuck is going on? Why didn’t he kill you in bed? Why didn’t he strangle you, bite your jugular out of your throat. He could have, he felt your heartbeat on his tongue. He could have ended all of this right then. 

But ya’ didn’t! 

He sure fucking didn’t. He was so unworried about killing, that he made sure you came– twice – before he finished. 

Looked so sweet comin’ on your cock, perfect tits bouncin’, fuckin’ pussy was immaculate. 

Joel presses the oven mitts into the sockets of his eyes and groans loudly. 

--

Joel’s eyes snap open at the rattling coming from inside the room. He shoots up, looking around with crusty eyes and blurry vision. He expects to see you but is met with the sight of that fucking opposum sitting on the table with a piece of Joel’s jerky in his clawed little fingers, munching happily on the dried meat. 

“Git!” Joel shouts. The small animal doesn’t even flinch at Joel’s outburst, just continues to eat that precious protein. “Y’little fuckin’--” Joel grumbles, pushing himself to his feet. He stands in front of the table, looking down at it- the opposum- Puddin’. 

He just stares right back up at Joel, chewing quickly and swallowing. 

Kinda cute.

“S’fuckin’ gross,” Joel grumbles. He doesn’t really want to touch that thing, he doesn’t want to get whatever diseases that thing could be carrying. 

He’s got a collar on. 

Puddin’ does have a collar on. Joel imagines you taking your time picking it out for him, going through all the colors and designs. He can see you finding the teal and pink collar, holding it up against his fur and saying it’s perfect. That Puddin’ would be the most handsome opossum this mall has ever seen. 

It makes him smile. 

--

It feels like two fucking days--two goddamn days since Joel saw you walk into that bathroom and slam the door shut practically in his face. 

You’re either dead in there or plotting the most painful ways to kill him. Both choices make Joel sick to his stomach. 

–--

Joel watches you behind the metal grate that keeps the mattress store all locked up nice and tight. He’s on the wrong fucking side! He’s on the mall side and you’re tucked under the covers of your comfortable looking bed. Seven mattresses stacked on top of each other like you’re in some fucking story he’d read to Sarah when she was really little. 

Joel almost wishes he could go back to the basement because this is more dehumanizing than being tied up by the elbows or roped up to a chair. 

The metal chain around his neck is tight, and it digs into his skin. It’s thick,  heavy and has prongs on it– like he’s a fucking dog. A violent dog that lunges, and bites and attacks. 

You opened the door to the bathroom an hour ago with the choke chain in your hand, the shock collar remote taped to the other, and the most exhausted look Joel’s ever seen on anyone's face. Big dark circles under your eyes, disassociated stare like you weren’t even really looking at Joel when you spoke to him in almost indecipherable mumbling.

Joel fought you a little when you padlocked the choke chain to his neck, and added a smaller lock to the shock collar. But he stopped when you said you were gonna take his oven mitts off his hands. 

Where are all the infected? It sounded like there had been a horde of them up here two days ago and now there is not a single sign that they had even been here. 

When Joel had questioned you about what he would do if more infected came, you very confidently said that no one could get in or out that easily anymore; that you had made this place nice and safe for your ‘mister-man’.

Ain’t ever had no one like that before, have ya’?

No.

That had always been Joel’s job; to keep everyone else safe. 

Who made sure that he was safe? 

There had always been give and take with everyone else, even Tommy and Tess. There was love there, sure– but never just someone absolutely and completely tearing themselves open to make sure that Joel was taken care of. 

The only thing you wanted in return was his company. 

Might’a never touched ya’ if you hadn’t asked for it. 

He wonders what your name is. How old you are, where you came from. How long have you been out here…

Joel grabs the metal cord wrapped in some sort of plastic or vinyl material that goes all the way up to the ceiling and gives it a shake as he looks up. You’ve attached it to some other sort of rope or cable that’s been tied from one end of the mall to the other. 

The other end is connected to Joel’s choke chain. 

As soon as your eyes closed he attempted to unclip himself from it but it wouldn’t budge. He tried everything but it was like you welded the clasp closed. 

Joel wanders. That’s all he can do. He’s got more than enough slack to go into whatever store he wants and walk around, inspect.

As he does this his mind doesn’t stop thinking about you. Why didn’t you sleep with him? What did you do while he slept on the bed? Did you sleep? Have you eaten? What the fuck did you do in the bathroom for two whole days?

Joel finds a place where the sun is shining through a hole in the ceiling and faces it with his eyes closed. He could fucking cry. He didn’t realize how much he missed this, how important it was for a person to come in contact with the sunlight. He chokes down the lump in his throat and stands there, following the sun as it moves in the sky, the light coming in at shifting angles and directions. He follows it, stays in the warmth- basking in it for as long as possible until dusk settles and the sky slowly starts to turn pink. 

Joel has his backpack with him. You packed him some food and water, his flashlight. A clean long sleeve shirt in case it got cold. You even threw in some whiskey for him, which he was enjoying sip by sip. 

He pulls his flashlight out and uses it when he goes into an old bookstore. Some shelves are empty; nature guides, atlases, hunting and fishing- basically the entire outdoors section is gone. 

The romance novels are almost bare. 

Who needs those when lil puppy’s got you, right?

There are still self-help books on the shelves, almost untouched and whatever is left looks like it would fall apart in his hands if he tried to touch it. 

Why’s you even in this section?

Joel wanders to the comics and takes a look at whatever is left. Some are in alright condition, wrapped in plastic away from the elements. Some do disintegrate before he can even get them out of their place on the shelf. 

He grabs a Batman comic still in a vinyl sleeve and tosses it in his pack for later. There are tons more strewn all across the floor, some he remembers reading with Tommy as kids. He picks through them, looking for any worth saving and finds two more still in decent condition. 

There are several department and clothing stores that look bare from the outside, but he wanders into one anyway just to see what might have been missed.

There’s an exit to the outside that's been all boarded up, with what looks like every empty clothing rack pushed in front of it. He thinks about moving all those things, breaking through the boards… but where the fuck would he go? Ten feet outside of the mall where the infected were apparently moving through? 

No. 

He’ll stay inside.

He paruses the homegoods section all the way in the back of the second floor and finds a wall of empty shelves except for one. 

It’s filled with books- he reads through the titles: The Beginners Guide to Foraging, An Introduction to Wildlife Rehabilitation, LIVING WITH WILDLIFE- How to Enjoy, Cope with, and Protect North America’s Wild Creatures Around Your Home and Theirs, The Big Book of Skill Makers, The Complete Beginners Guide to Greenhouse Gardening- A Month by Month Planting Book to Grow 365 Days a Year, You Will Find Your People- How To Make Meaningful Friendships as an Adult. There are several Batman comics featuring Harley Quinn and The Joker. 

They all look like they’ve been read thoroughly and many times. 

On the same shelf there is a pink balloon animal made of glass, it has fresh flowers in it, with clean water. It takes him several seconds to realize that it’s supposed to be a bong. For smoking weed. And you’re using it as a vase. 

Joel chuckles to himself and continues to look at the shelf of your important belongings. A couple rocks of different colors, an old makeup compact that has a broken mirror in it. And a small glass picture frame of a family– a mother and a father, a little girl, and a young man but his face has been scratched out beyond recognition. 

On the wall behind the shelf Joel notices lines carved into the wall.

| | | | | | | | | | |

Twelve. Is that how old you were when this all happened? Is that the number of men you did this to before Joel came along? Are you going to add him to this fucking list?

Is that how many months you've been out here?

All of this suddenly feels like someone he can’t see punched Joel directly in the stomach. 

Sad. 

Joel makes his way to a different part of the mall, checking every entrance that he finds along the way and they’re all boarded up better than they were when he used to walk around here before you captured him. He does appreciate the effort you went through to make sure nothing could get in if you weren’t going to give him a weapon, and he couldn’t escape. 

There is an old music and entertainment store where you must get your princess movies and cartoons to watch. He picks through a couple, finding a couple classics that he watched before the outbreak Office Space, Dirty Harry, The Thing, Top Gun. 

He grabs a couple more that he watched as a kid with his dad and grandpa; The Magnificent 7, The Good, The Bad and The Ugly. He grabs the three original Star Wars movies as well– the best ones, the only ones worth watching. The ones that started to come out right before the outbreak– Joel can’t even talk about it. 

He’s done his exploring and now he sits outside of the mattress store waiting for you to wake up and let him back in. As soon as Joel unwraps the sandwich and jerky you made him, that stupid fucking oppossum comes scampering along like this is it’s dinner too. 

“Get the hell outta here,” Joel grumbles, waving his hand in its direction, trying to scare it off– but it persists. 

Inching closer and closer until Joel could kick it if he wanted to. 

Kinda cute in the little collar.

Joel tosses a piece of his sandwich a good distance away and Puddin’ chases after it while Joel digs into his own portion. 

Hours and hours go by, you sleep for so fucking long. He reads all of the comic books that he grabbed and even goes back to the bookstore to look for more. He finds nothing else that interests him so he goes to your bookshelf in the department store and grabs a couple from there to look at. 

He’s flipping through the skill maker book when you finally wake up and open the grate. 

Joel scrambles to his feet, watching as you rub your eyes with your one free hand, the other still has the remote tapped to your palm. 

The two of you stare at each other for several silent moments before you notice the book in his hand. 

“Just put it back where ya’ found it when you’re done with it, ‘kay?” Your voice is deep and filled with sleep. 

Joel nods his head, and puts the book in his backpack. “Yeah, sure– hey where did all the infected go?” He questions as you toss your own pack over your shoulder and head in the direction of the food court. 

“Cleared ‘em out the other day.”

“How the hell did you do that? When? After we–”

“Yup.” You cut him off with a sharp, short response. “Wasn’t that many. Kinda easy when you get high ground on ‘em.” 

Joel eyes dart up to the rafters and wonders how good you are with a bow and arrow. He knows Ellie is a great shot, loves her bow and arrow. “And you moved ‘em all out on your own?” 

“Yup.” 

“How did you even get out of the bathroom?” Joel’s been wondering that this whole time. 

You walked into the bathroom, slammed the door and the next time he saw you was coming down the stairs to the basement. 

He wonders if you’re even real. 

Ohh our lil puppy is real alright.

If you knew that Mister-J was going to ask all of these questions you might not have ever taken the duct tape off. 

Where did the infected go? What if more get in? How did you get out of the bathroom? Where are you going now? When will you be back? Are you okay? Are you mad? What’s wrong? Why aren’t you answering me? 

He’s so nosy! Asking more questions than any of the other guys combined. 

Why does he even care? 

Shhhhh, this is what makin’ friends is, Sweetheart. 

“Used the vents to get out of the bathroom,” you sigh, not stopping or slowing down but Joel keeps up anyway, his arm brushing yours as he walks alongside you.

“What about the infected– you know the spores–” 

“I burn ‘em outside at night when it’s real dark–” you explain to him quickly. “I ain’t stupid. I know ‘bout the spores. I know how the fungus works. I paid attention,” you huff softly as you reach the ladder that takes you up into the rafters and eventually out onto the roof.

Mister is too big, and probably too clumsy to follow you up here. 

“M’just goin’ to get some more food… I’ll be right back– couple of minutes, okay?”

Mister looks relieved when you say this, his face relaxes and he sighs softly. “Okay, just be careful.” 

— -- --- ---

“Is that my shirt?” He asks about the green and red flannel you have on when you come out of the women’s restroom in the food court. Your hair is clean, your body feels refreshed after taking a shower. 

Mister looks good too with his hair slicked back, and his beard trimmed neatly. 

You nod, not taking your eyes off of him. It’s almost impossible when he looks like a brand new man- handsome. He looks like he’s lost weight since he’s been here with you. 

You’ll fix that. He needs to eat more than you, and he wants meat so… you’ll go get it for him. Real meat this time, even if it makes you sad how you have to get it.

“Yeah, I took it ‘cause it smelled like you.” You admit with no shame. That’s exactly why you took it. So you could sleep with it so he could warm up to his new house, with his new friend. 

Mister-J chuckles, and shakes his head at you with a smirk plastered across his face. “Someone told me I stink once,” he says through his laughter. 

This makes you smile because he’s happy. He looks happy, like he doesn’t mind talking to you, he’s not saying mean things. He’s sharing. 

Told ya’ he’d get comfortable. Just had to be patient. We figured it all out eventually. 

“You do stink sometimes, but you smell real, so I don’t mind.” You share with him as you lead him back to the mattress store. He carried the TV up earlier and said he found a couple movies he wanted to watch. They don’t really look like movies you want to watch, but you’ll give them a shot.

Anything for Mister-Joel, perfect, sweet man. 

It doesn’t make this easier. Mister wants to sleep in the bed next to you, said he wanted to warm you up, but now you’re next to him again and it feels like you could burst into flames and tears all at the same time. 

“What’s your name?” He whispers into your ear, his arms wrapped around your waist, holding onto you tightly from behind. 

“Why?” The sirens go off inside your head. No one’s asked you that in so long, it makes your stomach flip and you feel like you could be sick. 

“Told’ya mine,” He murmurs into your hair. 

Joel. 

When you go to answer, the words don’t come because the memories are gone. You can see your mom and dad talking to you inside your head but their voices are on mute. The name never leaves their mouth.  “I don’t remember…”

OFC thank you @pedrospookie for making this cutie banner and letting me scream at about all of this!!

I need to give an extra special shout-out to the couple of other people I screamed at about this. @almostempty @gothcsz( your music recs inspired me) and thanks to @probablyreadinsmut and my unnamed friend who helped me with the TW of the chapter.

I was especially nervous to post this because I didn't want to ruin anyone's day or send anyone into their own spiral. I hope you all are OK!

thank you to everyone who has been reading!! I've never gotten such incredible feedback on a fic before and you are all so nice and make writing this story that much more fun. I LOVE YOU

TAG LIST: @pedrospookie @gothcsz @joelmillerisapunk @sp00kymulderr @paleidiot @goodvampykitten @rosebuds-and-moonlight @diabaroxa @zhazy-blog2 @almostempty @xdaddysprincessxx @tobethlehem @lilac-boo @xkyxkyxxlylcylulucuflfluclu @rav3n-pascal22 @baronessvonglitter @joelmillerisapunk @syd-djarin @probablyreadinsmut @itwasntimethatdidit40 @letsgobarbs @lovehappyloki @joelalorian @pedrostories @evolnoomym @valkyreally @youdontknowe @corazondebeskar-reads @pastelpinkflowerlife @tobethlehem

please don't hate me if I forgot you, I have a hamster brain, ok?

[cherryxbooo]

omg i love your mason fic, the angst one. please write more angst i love your writings!!

Lost me forever

Summary: You thought you had finally found 'the one' and that you were the first choice all along, but that was until the truth finally came to light.

Note: Thank you so much lovely! As for the angst request, your wish is my command! I chose to write this for Mason since I found it fitting. Hope you enjoy it!

Reader x Mason Mount

Genre: Angst

Loving Mason Mount felt like the easiest thing in the world.

It was effortless, like breathing, like waking up to golden sunlight streaming through the curtains, warming my skin before his arms ever had the chance.

From the moment we found our way to each other, it felt like the universe had been waiting for it to happen.

Like everything before him had been grayscale, and he was the color I’d been missing.

He made life feel lighter, and softer. It wasn’t just the grand moments, it was the little things.

Like the way his fingers would find mine beneath restaurant tables, absently tracing patterns against my palm as he listened to me talk.

Or how he would pull me back into bed on Sunday mornings, refusing to let me go,

his voice thick with sleep as he mumbled, “Five more minutes, baby. Just five more.”

And we both knew it would never be just five.

It was the way he’d insist on carrying my books when he met me outside my lectures, even though I told him I could handle it.

“I know you can, but I like taking care of you,” he’d say, pressing a kiss to my temple before reaching for my bag anyway.

Late-night drives with the windows down, my feet propped up on the dashboard as he glanced over at me, grinning like I was his favorite sight in the world.

“You know I love you, right?” he'd say out of nowhere, his voice soft but certain.

And every time, my heart would stumble over itself as I whispered back,

“Yeah. I know. I love you too.”

The way he’d tuck me into his chest on the couch, his fingers running lazily through my hair as we half-watched a movie, more focused on each other than whatever was playing.

Or how he’d tease me when I got grumpy, pressing exaggerated kisses all over my face until I was laughing, pushing him away only for him to pull me right back.

He made me feel adored. Cherished.

Like I was his entire world.

And for a while, I truly believed he loved me just as much as I loved him.

But I didn’t realize that, all along, he was still orbiting around someone else.

The change was subtle at first. So subtle that I almost convinced myself it wasn’t happening.

At first, it was little things.

Mason would forget to text me back, not just for a few minutes, but for hours.

I’d send him something funny, something I knew would’ve made him laugh before, and the read receipt would linger, unanswered.

Maybe he’s busy. Maybe he’s just tired. I made excuses, brushing it off like it wasn’t the start of something unraveling.

Then he started canceling plans last minute.

"Sorry, something came up. Training ran late. I’m exhausted, let’s do tomorrow?"

Tomorrow would turn into the next day, then the next, until suddenly, I realized I was the only one trying to reschedule.

Our deep, intimate conversations, the ones where we’d stay up until three in the morning talking about everything and nothing, where he’d tell me about his childhood dreams, his fears, the things he never admitted to anyone else, turned into empty small talk.

"How was your day? Did you eat?"

His words felt distant, mechanical, like he was just going through the motions.

I tried to ignore the way his responses lacked warmth, the way he barely asked about me anymore.

And when we were together, it felt like he wasn’t really there.

He’d sit next to me on the couch, but his body was tense, like he was waiting for an excuse to leave.

He’d hold my hand, but it didn’t feel the same, his grip wasn’t as firm, as reassuring.

His kisses were quick, and absentminded, like they were more of a habit than something he wanted to do.

The worst part? He stopped looking at me like he used to.

The light in his eyes, the way they used to soften when they met mine, it was gone.

Now, when I caught him staring, it felt like he was searching for something that wasn’t there anymore.

I tried not to let it bother me. I told myself it was stress, that he was overwhelmed with training, with matches, with the constant pressure to perform.

It has nothing to do with me. I repeated it like a mantra, like if I said it enough, I’d believe it.

But deep down, I felt it.

The distance. The absence of his warmth.

The quiet way he was slipping away from me, little by little, day by day.

Then came the late nights.

I’d wake up to an empty bed, the sheets cold where he should’ve been.

At first, I thought maybe he couldn’t sleep, maybe he was just restless.

But then I heard it. The hushed whispers from the other room, the way his voice softened in a way it never did with me anymore.

The first time, I told myself I was imagining things.

The second time, I told myself it was probably a teammate.

The third time, I stopped lying to myself.

Because when I walked in too quickly, when I caught him sitting on the edge of the couch, phone pressed to his ear, he snapped his head up so fast it was like he’d been caught doing something he wasn’t supposed to.

His expression shifted, just for a second, before he forced a smile, one that didn’t reach his eyes.

“Couldn’t sleep,” he murmured, shoving his phone into his pocket.

“Didn’t wanna wake you.”

I wanted to believe him. I wanted to trust him like I always had.

But my heart was screaming at me. Telling me something was wrong.

I just didn’t want to ask.

Because I already knew I wouldn’t like the answer.

The night everything fell apart,

I was at Mason’s place, curled up on his couch, wrapped in the blanket he always draped over my shoulders whenever I got cold.

It smelled like him, like the faint traces of his cologne mixed with something unmistakably him, something that once made me feel safe.

I had been waiting for him to get back from training, my phone resting loosely in my hand as I scrolled absentmindedly, not really paying attention to anything on the screen.

The TV hummed softly in the background, playing an episode of a show we had started together but never finished.

He used to insist on waiting for me before watching the next one. Lately, he didn’t wait anymore.

I tried not to think about it too much.

I tried not to think about any of it too much.

The unanswered texts. The canceled plans.

The way his kisses felt like muscle memory instead of something he wanted.

I had spent weeks, months, convincing myself that this was just a rough patch.

That things would go back to normal once the season settled, once the stress faded, once he had time to breathe.

That we would go back to normal.

I wasn’t looking for answers that night.

I wasn’t searching for proof that something was wrong.

But sometimes, the truth doesn’t wait for you to be ready.

Sometimes, it finds you when you least expect it.

And that night, it found me in the form of an unexpected message on Mason’s laptop.

The screen lit up suddenly, casting a soft glow over the coffee table. At first, I barely noticed.

I was too lost in my own head, too focused on distracting myself from the gnawing ache in my chest.

I wasn’t the kind of person to snoop. I had never needed to be.

I trusted Mason.

Or at least, I thought I did.

But then, my eyes flickered to the name at the top of the message.

And my heart stopped.

Her name.

His ex Charlotte.

I stared at it, my breath catching in my throat.

It was just a name. Just a simple notification.

And yet, it felt like the ground beneath me had shifted.

There was no reason for them to be talking. No good reason, at least.

Mason never spoke about her. He had told me, once, that their story was over.

That I was the only one he saw a future with. That she was a part of his past, and that’s where she would stay.

I wanted to believe him. I had believed him.

So then why was she here, on his screen, reaching out like she had never really left?

For a moment, I hesitated.

I wanted to look away, to pretend I hadn’t seen it, to act like it was just some meaningless message.

That would be easier, wouldn’t it? I could go back to the way things were, smiling through the doubt, pushing aside the way he had been slipping away from me piece by piece.

But then I saw the preview of the message.

Just a few words.

But they were enough to send ice through my veins.

I miss you.

My hands shook as I reached for the laptop.

My heart pounded against my ribs, screaming at me, begging me to stop.

But I couldn’t.

I clicked on the message.

Then another. And another.

And with every message I read, my world crumbled around me.

It wasn’t just casual conversation.

It wasn’t Hey, how have you been? or Hope you're doing well.

It was confessions whispered in the dead of night.

It was I think about you all the time.

It was I miss everything about you.

It was Being with her doesn’t feel the same.

It was I still love you.

The air rushed from my lungs.

I blinked. Once. Twice.

Waiting, praying, for the words to change.

For my eyes to be playing tricks on me.

But they didn’t change.

They sat there, staring back at me like undeniable proof that I had been living in a lie.

Every moment Mason and I had shared, every soft I love you, every late-night conversation, every time he had pulled me close and promised me forever, it had all been meaningless.

I had just been something to fill the space she left behind.

A placeholder.

A distraction.

A way for him to forget the girl he really wanted.

And the worst part?

I never even saw it coming.

I had been so sure of him. So sure of us.

I had loved him with everything I had, blind to the fact that his heart had never really been mine to begin with.

Tears blurred my vision, but I couldn’t cry. Not yet.

Not until I heard the sound of keys jingling at the door.

Mason was home.

And I had a choice to make.

Pretend I hadn’t seen anything, pretend I hadn’t fallen apart while reading his betrayal in black and white.

Or look him in the eye and ask the question I already knew the answer to.

When Mason walked through the door, tired and unsuspecting, his duffel bag slung lazily over his shoulder, I felt my entire body lock up.

He ran a hand through his damp hair, his shirt sticking slightly to his skin from the shower he took after training, and for a fleeting second,

I saw the version of him I used to love, the boy who used to make me feel like the center of his world.

But that version of Mason didn’t exist anymore.

He didn’t know it yet, but I had seen everything.

His lips parted slightly when his eyes landed on me, confusion flickering across his face as he took in my stiff posture, the way my arms were crossed tightly over my chest like they were the only thing keeping me together.

His gaze shifted to the coffee table, to where his laptop sat open, the screen still glowing.

He didn’t know yet, but he would.

The air in the room shifted.

"Hey, love." His voice was soft, familiar, too familiar.

Like he hadn’t just shattered me beyond repair.

I didn’t respond.

I reached for the laptop, my movements slow, deliberate, my fingers curling around the edges before I threw it onto the table between us.

The loud smack echoed in the silent apartment.

Mason flinched slightly, his brows knitting together. “What the hell—”

"Tell me the truth." My voice trembled, but there was an edge to it, sharp enough to cut.

His eyes darted between mine, searching, confused. “Y/n, what—”

I lifted a hand and pointed at the screen, my entire body trembling with the weight of what I had just discovered.

"Don’t. Just tell me the truth."

His eyes flickered down.

And in that moment, I saw everything.

The way his entire body tensed.

The way his face lost its color, his jaw tightening as his throat bobbed.

The way his fingers twitched at his sides, his breathing suddenly uneven.

He didn’t have to say anything.

I already knew.

But I wanted him to say it.

I wanted him to look me in the eye and own what he had done.

He let out a slow, shaky breath, his lips pressing together as if he was trying to find the right words.

"It’s not what you think—"

A bitter laugh burst from my lips before I could stop it.

I felt something inside me snap.

"Not what I think?" I repeated, my voice rising, the disbelief dripping from every syllable.

I jabbed a finger toward the screen, toward her name, toward the messages that had destroyed me.

“So you didn’t tell her you missed her? You didn’t tell her being with me wasn’t the same? You didn’t tell her you still love her?”

Mason inhaled sharply, his lips parting like he wanted to deny it,

God, I wanted him to deny it, but no words came.

His silence was louder than any excuse he could’ve made.

My throat tightened, the lump there threatening to choke me, but I refused to let him see me break.

I had already given him too much of me. I wouldn’t give him this too.

"Was I ever anything more than a rebound to you?" I whispered.

His face crumbled.

"Y/n—"

"Answer me!" I snapped, my voice cracking.

His lips pressed into a thin line. His hands curled into fists at his sides.

And then, hesitation.

Just a second. Just the briefest pause.

But that was all I needed.

I let out a sharp breath, my hands trembling as I wiped at my eyes, willing the tears away.

"I hope she was worth it, Mason." The words felt like acid on my tongue.

I turned away, grabbing my bag from the couch with numb fingers, my entire body screaming at me to run, run, run.

"Y/n, wait—" His voice cracked.

I felt his hand wrap around my wrist, not rough, not forceful, just desperate.

For the first time, I looked at him, really looked at him.

His face was drawn, his eyes wide, pleading.

His grip on my wrist tightened slightly, like he was afraid that if he let go, I’d disappear.

"Please." His voice was barely above a whisper.

I swallowed hard, my chest rising and falling in uneven breaths.

"You don’t get to do that," I said, my voice barely steady.

I yanked my wrist free, stepping back.

"You don’t get to break me and then ask me to stay."

Mason exhaled sharply, running a hand over his face, through his hair, looking more panicked now.

“I never meant—” He cut himself off like the words physically hurt to say.

I shook my head. “You never meant for me to find out.”

Silence.

He didn’t argue.

He didn’t fight for me.

Because he knew.

He knew there was nothing left to fight for.

I felt a sob clawing at my throat, but I swallowed it down.

I refused to break in front of him.

I took a shaky step back. Then another.

"Goodbye, Mason."

And then I turned.

I walked to the door, my steps unsteady, my hands trembling as I reached for the handle.

"Y/n." My name was a whisper, a plea.

I didn’t stop.

I didn’t look back.

And Mason didn’t stop me.

Because he knew, he had already lost me. Lost me forever.

Mason stood there,

This is what he wanted right?

Now he could go back to Charlotte without having to hide it.

But if this was what he wanted, why did he feel so guilty? Why does it feel like he has lost something big? Why was he feeling... regret?

Mason shrugged off those feelings before muttering "She was just a rebound, this is what I wanted right?"

And that was all it took for him to move on.

Well at least for now.

Mason got back together with his ex two weeks later.

At first, it felt right.

She was familiar. She was comfortable. She was the girl he had spent so long missing, the one who had haunted his thoughts even when he was with Y/n.

For a brief moment, he convinced himself he had made the right choice.

But then, the cracks started to show.

The first time he noticed it was during dinner.

They sat across from each other at a high-end restaurant she had insisted on, a place where the food was overpriced and the lighting dim enough to make everything look perfect for Instagram.

Mason had been talking about his match earlier that day, how exhausted he was, how he’d nearly scored but missed by inches.

She didn’t even look up from her phone.

"That’s nice, babe," she murmured, her perfectly manicured fingers typing away.

He stared at her, waiting, expecting her to say more.

She didn’t.

Instead, she snapped a photo of their untouched plates, adjusted the lighting, and posted it with a caption that had nothing to do with him.

That was just the beginning.

The thoughtful gestures, the ones Y/n had done so naturally, were gone.

There were no lazy Sunday mornings where she curled into his chest, tracing mindless patterns on his skin.

No soft kisses just because.

No remembering how he liked his tea or sneaking his favorite snacks into the fridge after a long day.

Charlotte wasn’t cruel. She wasn’t awful. She was just… absent.

It was clear she loved the idea of him, the status, the lifestyle, the way people looked at them when they walked into a room together.

But him? The man behind the footballer, the one with worries and insecurities, the one who needed comfort just as much as anyone else?

She didn’t see him.

And suddenly, Mason realized, he had been chasing a ghost.

The woman he had truly loved, the one who had memorized every detail about him, who had supported him through every loss, who had loved him for the man and not the player, was gone.

Y/n had been that woman.

His Y/n.

And he had thrown her away like she was nothing.

One night, after another meaningless fight, this time over why he wasn’t posting her on social media enough, he sat alone in his apartment, scrolling through his camera roll.

The pictures of Y/n were still there.

Her smile, so genuine.

The way she looked at him like he was her entire world.

The little videos she had taken when he wasn’t paying attention, him cooking, him laughing at something dumb, him asleep with his arm wrapped around her waist like he never wanted to let go.

He had been so loved.

And he had destroyed it.

By the time he realized his mistake, it was too late.

Y/n had vanished from his life.

Blocked his number. Deleted their pictures. Disappeared without a trace.

At first, he thought maybe she just needed time.

That eventually, she’d cool down, pick up one of his calls, and answer one of his texts.

She never did.

He tried her best friend.

"She doesn’t want anything to do with you."

He tried her family.

"Mason, you hurt her. Let her go."

Her colleagues, her neighbors, nobody would tell him where she was.

And then, one day, when he came to her house once again he heard one of her neighbors call out for him.

"You should stop trying son. Didn't you hear? She left the country."

His stomach dropped.

"What?" His voice was barely above a whisper.

"Yeah, she moved. Took some big job offer or something. Left everything behind."

Mason’s heart pounded in his chest.

She had left.

His Y/n had left.

Started fresh. Moved somewhere new. Somewhere he could never reach her.

And for the first time in his life, Mason Mount, who had always been able to fix his mistakes, to win people back with a smile or an apology, knew he had lost her forever.

And this time, there was no getting her back.

That night, I made my decision.

I sat in my apartment, staring at the email that had been sitting in my inbox for days.

A job offer.

My dream job. The one I had turned down for him.

For so long, I had let my love for Mason dictate my every move.

I had stayed when I should have gone, let him convince me that we were enough, that we could make a future together.

I had put his dreams, his career, his needs first, and let mine slip into the background.

But that future didn’t exist anymore.

And now? I had nothing left to lose.

So, I took a deep breath, wiped away the last of my tears, tears that had been falling for weeks now, and clicked accept.

The next few weeks passed in a blur of packing, selling off things I didn’t need, and coming to terms with the fact that I was leaving the place that had once felt like home.

It wasn’t easy, but it was necessary.

"Are you sure about this?" my best friend asked, standing in the middle of my now half-empty apartment.

I exhaled slowly, trying to hold it together.

“I’ve never been more sure of anything in my life.”

And I meant it.

The morning of my flight, I did one last thing before leaving.

I blocked Mason. Everywhere.

His number. His Instagram. His Twitter. His email.

I erased him the way he had erased me.

And then I left.

As the plane took off and the city shrank beneath me, I finally felt it. The weight lifting from my chest.

The space inside me that had been filled with doubt, uncertainty, and longing, is now empty but... free.

A new country. A new life. A fresh start.

No more waiting for someone to choose me.

This time, I was choosing myself.

And Mason?

He was just a chapter in a book I had already finished reading.

Mason thought he had made the right choice.

He thought that getting back with his ex would fill the emptiness he felt after losing Y/n, but all it did was magnify the hollowness in his chest.

It was then, in the quiet moments of the night when he lay awake in his bed, that it hit him.

Y/n had been the one.

She had been the one who truly understood him.

The one who saw the person behind the jersey, behind the fame, behind the image.

She was the one who had loved him for him, not for the trophies or the spotlight.

And he had thrown it all away.

He had thrown her away.

But now, it was too late.

The more he tried to convince himself that things were fine, the more he realized that nothing felt right.

His ex wasn’t the person he needed.

And he was so damn lonely.

Training started slipping. He missed passes, lost focus, and the frustration was unbearable.

His coach started noticing, and his teammates were starting to get concerned.

He couldn’t even summon the motivation to push himself. Every match felt pointless, every goal out of reach.

He couldn’t concentrate. His heart wasn’t in it anymore.

His head wasn’t in it. His life wasn’t in it.

And the worst part?

He couldn’t stop thinking about her.

Y/n.

The way she would smile at him after a tough day, the way her laugh would fill the room like music.

The way she would hold him close when he was stressed or frustrated, as if just being near her was enough to make everything better.

The way she’d remember the smallest details about him, how she would surprise him with his favorite snacks or take care of him when he was sick.

He had taken it all for granted.

And now, he would never have it again.

One night, after yet another argument with his ex, something about him not being “present enough”

Mason sat on the edge of his bed, staring at his phone.

He had tried calling Y/n again. She didn’t answer.

Of course, she wasn't going to answer.

She had blocked him everywhere, but every day he hoped that for some magical reason, she would've unblocked him everywhere.

He checked his messages, hoping, praying, that maybe, just maybe, she would reach out. But nothing.

It was as if she had vanished from his life completely.

And that’s when the weight of it all crashed down.

He realized that he had let her slip through his fingers, and now, she was gone.

For good.

Days blurred together as Mason sank deeper into his depression. His training was a mess.

His performance on the field was getting worse by the day.

His teammates were starting to notice his lack of focus and his erratic behavior. He didn’t care. He couldn’t care.

And then, it hit him like a slap in the face.

It was Y/n all along, not Charlotte. Y/n was his girl and not that fame-sucking ex of his.

Mason had spent so long taking her love for granted, thinking it would always be there, thinking he could come back when it suited him.

But now? Now he realized the truth: She had been the love of his life.

And he had lost her.

Forever.

He spent days in his apartment, alone with his thoughts, battling the crushing weight of regret.

He would never see her smile again, never hear her voice telling him that everything would be okay.

He had let the one person who truly loved him slip away because he couldn’t appreciate her until it was too late.

And in the silence of his empty apartment, with nothing but his thoughts and his guilt to keep him company,

Mason finally understood what he had lost.

Y/n.

The girl he had taken for granted. The one who had loved him without hesitation.

The one he would never get back.

The end

[kawhh]

dark quinn tying you up and then jack calls and suddenly quinn wants to embarrass the fuck out of you and shows jack what’s his

New permanent thought unlocked. Anything involving both of them is an instant favourite of mine, even if it’s not a sandwich.

He truly hadn’t planned on it going this way. Honestly. You can’t blame him for it. You can blame Jack. He’s the one who called.

He’s been the one who’s staring at you. Does he think his brother wouldn’t notice him staring at his girl?

He’s been letting it sit. It’s not like he considers him a threat. He’s not exactly pleased that you’ve just been letting it happen though. Maybe you don’t even notice.. or maybe you need a gentle little reminder.

You’ve all spent the morning at the lake house, he’s just been watching. Staring at you both. Noticing how Jack’s been trying to do everything for you like he should be.

He usually grabs you drinks, now Jack is volunteering and running off before he can react.

He’s saving you seats.

Trying to get you out on the boat.

Like fuck.

He knows he has some.. useful things in his room. Luke bought Jack handcuffs as a joke a few Christmas’s ago. He knows he didn’t throw them out. He’ll just borrow them for a while.

Making it obvious that he’s been in his room. Obvious that he was in the ‘secret’ drawer. He wants him to notice.

You think nothing of him wanting to take an early nap with you. It’s been an exhausting day already and he always likes to get some extra sleep in.

Don’t expect him to handcuff you in your sleep. Rousing slightly as he shakes you shoulder. He’s hovering over you, you startle as you feel cold metal around your wrists. Looking at him with pure confusion.

“You think I didn’t notice baby? Think I didn’t realise how you’ve been going along with him?”

The dazed confusion in your eyes doesn’t fade, you genuinely have no clue what he’s talking about. Going along with who? There’s been a lot of people over recently, the weather’s been good and the boys like inviting people over.

“Doing it to make me jealous, huh? Think I’m threatened by him? Not giving you enough attention? Not fucking you enough?”

He’s kissing your thighs. He has a plan to punish you but he’s not cruel enough to abuse your clit without warming you up a bit. Pressing open mouthed kisses to your thigh, slowly climbing his way inwards, giving you the occasional bite. It is a punishment after all.

He can smell how soaked you are. Feels how your drenched underwear feels against his nose. It’s practically see through. He could probably even slightly push into your pretty little pussy with his nose if he wanted.

Mouthing at your clit before pulling away, not giving you the satisfaction. He needs to keep you there. Begging and whining, on the edge of cuming.

Needs to wait until Jack realises. Until he calls in anger. He doesn’t have to wait long, the sound of his phone ringing startling both of you. He’s putting it on speaker, keeping his face buried against you.

“What the fuck man? Have you been in my-?”

He cuts himself off as he hears you moan.

“Quinn.. you fuck.”

Quinn’s struggling to hold back a laugh as he doubles his efforts, wanting you to be loud. You’re almost screaming his name and it’s perfect. There’s no more noise from the phone. He’s clearly stunned.

Your eyes snap open as you realise what’s happening, turning red, trying to squirm away from his face. Too bad you’re restrained, huh?

He finds you struggling adorable.

“Oh baby.. you’ve been paying all this fucking attention to him all day, isn’t this what you wanted? Wanted him to hear you cum?”

You can’t push him away. His grip is too strong on you. He’s purely focused on you, anything you do will just make it worse for you.

You’re soaking his face before you can even process it. The embarrassment from knowing Jack’s on the phone combined with his nose bumping against your clit is too much.

Whimpering loudly, loud enough for it to be clear over the phone.

Quinn’s hanging up the phone the minute your orgasm fades, smirking against you.

Maybe he’s learnt his fucking lesson now. You’re his. Not Jack’s.

[cognitiveoverload]

Rejection (Aaron Hotchner x reader)

summary: Being Hotch’s favorite is hard, but when he suddenly asks you out, you don’t really know if you’d like to make things harder for yourself.

tags: fem!tech analyst!reader

note: There will be more parts, not necessarily in chronological order. What do you think, what situations will they find themselves in? Send an ask with your idea, and let’s see what will happen.

At first, it was just a casual and genuinely innocent observation from Spencer. “Have you noticed that Hotch calls only you if he needs something?” he asked one day as he sat between you and Penelope in your little den.

But then this comment spread through the BAU like wildfire, making everyone think back of all the times their boss needed information, and look at that, they all remembered the same detail–it’s not just the fact he was always calling you, it was the fact he always called you by your first name.

And that’s how the constant teasing began. Derek, Emily, JJ and Penelope tormented you, with Spencer occasionally joining to spit out some facts about the both of you, while Rossi targeted Hotch as far as you knew. It was mortifying, really, but you got used to it.

What you still can't get used to is the change in your boss’ behavior. Recently he’s been different, although you can’t quite put a finger on what it is that changed. Sure, maybe he shows up a little more often in your office, strictly when Penelope isn’t around, and he brings you coffee when you’re working late or arrive a little too early as he does.

“How are you holding up?”

You turn your swivel chair around to look at Hotch, who’s standing in the door with an almost worried expression on his face. He sent Penelope home a few hours ago when a case affected her too much, and now apparently it was time for another wellness check in your little office. It’s hard to miss the way he’s flexing his fingers, a clear sign that he’s nervous, although you’re not a profiler, so you remain silent before you say something stupid.

Thinking about his question, you realize one thing. “It didn’t really affect me. Does this mean something’s wrong with me?” you ask him.

His lips part as he takes a shallow breath and thinks about what you just said. For a moment you think he’ll not give you an answer, but then he sits on the edge of your desk and watches you with a small smile. “It only means you’re tough. Look, you said, ‘It didn’t really affect me,’ which tells me it did affect you, just not as intensely as it did Garcia for example,” he explains kindly.

Nodding, you look down at your hands in your lap, but your gaze rises when he bumps his leg into your thigh. You expect him to say something, but Hotch remains silent, and he even acts like he didn’t do anything at all. There is one little thing that’s different, though. That barely visible smirk, the one you’ve all seen before.

Times like this it’s hard to comprehend the extremes in his behavior. He can act like this, so kind and supportive, but he can play rough too, especially when he loses control. And times like that, like a few days ago when he yelled at an agent who tried to take a case from him, you can’t help but think about how he could yell at you any time with you even thanking him.

Because, as pathetic as it might sound, an angry Hotch is simply irresistible. You probably have some issues that should be analyzed, but that’s tomorrow’s problem.

“I often wonder how you all can do this every single day. Penelope told me to brace myself when I arrived, but… It’s hard sometimes,” you admit quietly. “Yet, there are cases that don’t really make me feel anything. I can’t really wrap my head around that.”

His brown eyes soften in sync with his expression, and then his lips curl into a smile. “You’re a good person, never forget that. Not feeling anything might be your brain’s way of protecting you. Either way, if you ever want to talk, you know where to find me,” he tells you as he stands up.

You nod, then return to your computer once he’s heading to the door. But then the sound of footsteps suddenly dies, and when you turn around to see if he has just disappeared into thin air, you find him watching you with a thoughtful look. Your brows furrow in confusion, but you don’t say anything, you just wait for him to spit out whatever’s on his mind.

“Aren’t you hungry?” he asks casually.

It seems like an innocent, regular question between co-workers. The members of the BAU often team up in pairs or bigger groups to grab something, even Hotch joins them for a drink in a bar or dinner in some restaurant nearby. But he has never, ever gone out to eat with someone alone. Maybe with Rossi, but that doesn’t count.

So, it’s no wonder you have to think about the offer. You would be on thin ice, the team already has a little too much fun with the fact Hotch is playing favorites with you. If you have dinner with him alone, they might think you’ve been in some secret relationship all along.

In the end, the rational–or maybe rather paranoid–side of your brain makes the final decision. “Thanks, but I’d rather go home after I finish this,” you say, pointing at your computer.

He nods, and you begin to think he’s about to leave, but then he gulps and takes a deep breath, as if he’s gathering the strength or courage to say whatever’s on his mind. “I have paperwork that can’t wait, but I can give you a ride home after I’m done,” he offers, and there’s a look in his eyes that you can’t quite identify.

“No need, I’ll be fine, but thanks anyway,” you tell him with a forced smile.

The last thing you need and want is Hotch taking you home. He means well, you know that, but you can’t risk being seen by someone who could easily start a rumor. The problem is, he’s almost as old as your dad, so people would talk about your nonexistent daddy issues, and he’s your boss, which would only make things worse.

So far the whole joke about being his favorite is something that stayed within the team, but if it gets out and reaches HR, you’re both done. You don’t want that, but not because of yourself. Hotch is ambitious, he’s insanely good at office politics, and if he wants to be promoted, he can’t be involved in such scandals.

You’re pulled out of your thoughts by the sigh that leaves his lips. He looks almost disappointed, which is something you don’t really understand, because you can’t remember anything that could be even remotely rude. What is his problem? Or is there something he wants to talk about, something he wants to get off his chest?

Before you know it, he closes the door and walks back to you. “I’ve been making offers, and you turn down each and every one of them without hesitation. Why?” You can’t help but give him a confused look, because you have absolutely no idea what he’s talking about. Well, you know, but why does it bother him? “Is it because we would be alone?”

“It’s just… Wouldn’t it be weird?” you ask.

He inhales and exhales slowly before he suddenly crouches in front of you. “Look, there is a chance it will be weird, yes, but why don’t we give it a shot to see, huh? Come on, just you and me. If you’re afraid someone we both know will see us, we can go somewhere away from the usual crowd.”

You tilt your head to the side as you watch him, observing the look in his eyes, the small smile that makes your heart melt, and you simply can’t get yourself to say no to him. “Why?” you ask, although you know the answer, you just want to hear him say it.

“I’m sure I don’t have to spell it out for you,” he says with a boyish smile.

Gulping, you nod. A date. Aaron Hotchner wants to go on a date with you. But he’s your boss, if you started a relationship, there would be the danger of the aftermath of a breakup. Would you really like to risk it? You love this job, you love this team, you love Penelope, losing them wouldn’t be worth it.

You lick your lips as you push your chair back to build some distance. “I really have to get back to work now, and I’m sure Jack would be happy if you got home before bedtime,” you say, even though it hurts to turn down the invitation.

Hotch lets out a disappointed sigh as he stands up. “If you change your mind… you know. Good night.”

“Good night.”

[blue-aconite]

"Would you please just kiss me?" With Jake Seresin!

I would apologise for not posting sooner but we all know how life gets. Without further explanation, here's your blurb ♥️ Thanks @a-reader-and-a-writer for looking this over!

Blurb Night Masterlist

It’s been over half an hour since she left the Hard Deck, wandering out onto the beach and walking along the shore. She hadn’t gone far, close enough that the light coming out of the windows was still visible but far enough that she could no longer hear the people out on the patio. 

The sun disappeared some moments ago and the moon is taking its place, casting a cold grey light over the sand. 

“What are you doing out here?”

She keeps her eyes on the waves, tracing the overlaps and motions, even as she answers him. “Thinking.”

She’s hoping the short answer will be enough, that he’ll go back inside and leave her alone but fate has other plans. She should have known it wouldn’t be enough. Like a dog with a bone, Hangman wasn’t the one to let things go. 

Her hope is further crushed when he comes closer, taking a seat in the sand next to her. He’s close enough so that she can feel the heat emitting from his body, his cologne invading her senses. Not in an unpleasant or unwelcome way, just in a way she hadn’t expected. 

“You know, there’s a party going on inside, yet you’re out here alone, thinking.” Hangman says, leaning back onto his elbows and stretching his legs out. She doesn’t look away from the water but his movements can be seen in the corner of her eye. 

“Which is exactly why I’m here. Too loud to think in there. Out here though? It’s quiet, simple.” She murmurs, drawing her knees up to her chest, wrapping her arms around them.  She can feel his eyes on her, watching her. “What do you want?”

Hangman takes a moment to answer, as if he has to decide what to say. “I just wanted to make sure you’re alright.”

“I’m good, thanks.” She’d rather lie than tell him what’s really bothering her. There’s no reason for him to know. He wouldn’t even understand.

Unfortunately, Hangman sees right through her. “Could have fooled me.”

He pulls himself upright, matching her position. It’s odd seeing him look so vulnerable, smaller than he usually presents himself to be. 

When she doesn’t reply, he hesitantly continues, as if he’s afraid she’s going to run off if he pushes too far. “You can talk to me, you know. If something’s bothering you. You’d probably prefer Phoenix or Bob but I don’t see them running out here to check on you.”

She rolls her eyes at the last bit. Even when he’s trying to comfort her, he can’t help but take a shot at their teammates. It’s all in good nature nowadays, but it’s so predictably Hangman that it makes her smile. His concern is touching but she still keeps her guard up. 

“There’s nothing to talk about,” she pauses slightly before adding, “but thank you.” 

Hangman shifts, turning his body sideways so he is closer than before. “I think there is something to talk about, you just don’t want to.”

If getting on her nerves is his mission, he’s succeeding at an alarming rate. Gone is the gratefulness at his earlier offer. “And pray tell, Hangman, what would that be, hm?” She spits out, unsuccessful in keeping the annoyance out of her voice. She knows it isn’t fair to react this way, not when he’s been nothing but kind to her but anything to steer him away from the conversation she doesn’t want to happen.

Hangman holds his hands up, as if to placate her. “Maybe the fact that you’ve been avoiding me ever since Payback’s birthday? The fact that whenever we’re off base, you slink away to sit somewhere by yourself? Or maybe we should talk about how we kissed and you refuse to talk about it?”

Fuck.

The last part of his rant makes her tear her gaze from the water, swirling around in the sand to face him. They end up close, too close, but neither moves. “You remember that?”

It’s a weak response, she knows that but it’s the only thing she can come up with. 

The look in his eyes portrays disbelief. “Of course I remember. Why wouldn’t I?”

“Because you were drunk? And you didn’t talk to me for the whole day afterwards, so I figured it was just something.. -”

“I didn’t talk to you because when I woke up, you were gone. I wasn’t going to hunt you down over something you clearly regretted but I still think we should talk about it.”

She knows they need to address the whole situation but as he speaks, she can only focus on one thing. “You think I regret it?”

Now he’s the one refusing to meet her eyes. “What was I supposed to think? Like I said, you’ve been avoiding me ever since, so I figured you were just trying to let me down easy without having to say something, which is a shitty move by the way, even for you -”

“Let you down easy?” She’s full of bewilderment at this point and while she knows what he’s insinuating, she can’t make herself believe it. There is no possibility, she’d been telling herself for months. 

“Oh, spare me. You can’t honestly make me believe you don’t know. I think I’ve been very clear about my feelings for you.” Jake declares, a distinct look in his eyes as he straightens up. But the vulnerability on his face betrays his emotions, even if his voice stays strong. 

She feels like she’s falling, a wide black abyss consuming her entire being. Never in her wildest dreams had she thought she’d find herself in the situation. “You have feelings for me?”

She’s well aware that she should probably try to unearth more but she’s still not entirely sure she isn’t hallucinating. This can’t possibly be happening.

Jake laughs incredulity. “Are you telling me you actually don’t know?”

“Well, you never said anything!” She implores.

“I didn’t think I had to! It's pretty obvious.” He responds, shrugging his shoulders like he didn’t just drop a major bomb on her.

She throws her arms out, almost whacking him in the face. “OBVIOUS? How about you use your words instead of just thinking I can read your mind? I had no idea!”

“Why would I kiss you, if I didn’t like you?”

She stares at him blankly, at a loss for words. Everything she had wanted since her stupid crush had manifested itself was happening but for some reason, she couldn’t respond in the proper way. How many times had she wished he would reprecipitate the feelings she had developed for him during their time together? How much had she beaten herself up over kissing him back at Payback’s birthday almost a month ago, knowing that he didn’t feel the same, knowing it was the alcohol? 

She’s vaguely aware that he’s speaking again but her mind is racing, as is her heart, and she blurts out the only thing she’s thinking about. “Would you please just kiss me? Again?”

[k1nkyshitz]

"𝟏𝟎"

A decade is a really long time

10 years.

Such a highly regarded number. All things rated a 10 are considered perfect. The crowds favourite.

Sae was your favourite. Your number 10.

It has been 10 long years dating Itoshi Sae and it all comes down crashing on you. He's no longer yours. The number shines in your face on a billboard as you make you way back home as if mocking you. The man with his strickingly sharp features, long eye lashes and piercing turquoise eyes posed with a perfume he is advertising for. The number 10 shining on the label as the perfume's name.

You don't remember how long you spent suspecting it. How distant he had become like a stranger in your own home. You knew he'd might toss you aside for soccer when you first persued him. He knew nothing but soccer until you infiltrated his very small world.

A decade full of memories. Fond and warm ones. You don't think you've ever seen Sae smile so much before. You grew up with him, beside him. Watching him under the field's spotlight. No one has ever taken such a big part of your heart and that's why even after he invited you to dinner that night, you still loved him

When was the last time you saw his eyes crinkle in amusement whenever you were trying to fix his unruly hair before practise? Or the small exchanges of your hopes and dreams with one another just before bed. How Sae would tell you he wanted to be the world's best mid fielder and you'll always reply with "you will be" with a soft chuckle as you trace his jawline.

Now the home shared between the two of you remains like an empty husk devoid of the memories that were once spent in there. Where was your sae?

1 year ago

Sae has been distant. It's been weeks since you both gone on a proper date or had a proper intercation. He's up before you and comes home once you've passed out on the couch. You can't help but feel likes he's avoiding you. The man whose grown to love you, cherish you is suddenly distancing himself? Impossible its all in your head.

You think it is anyway. You try from time to time reaching out to him and his replies are...disappointing.

He doesn't touch you anymore. His back facing you each night you sleep. Somethings changed. Your heart tugs at every short and cut off interaction you have with Sae. Even when you leave him his every morning kiss before you head to work, its now short and brief with a quiet 'love you' to which he only grunts in response, eager to leave the house.

You can't help but hear the doubts in your head, is he seeing someone outside? Did you do something wrong? Did something happen to him?

Pacing around the kitchen, spiralling into your own fears thinking about to approach this with him. You need to to talk to him. You always reminded him about how big you are with commmunicating. Even as closed off as he seemed, he would always reassure you and seek you out first whenever conflict bubbled between the two of you.

He knew how important communicating was to you. He knew how important he was to you.

"Dinner. XXX Hotel, 7pm". A wave of hope washes over you. This was his way of making it up to you think. You could almost berate yourself that you thought after a decade your boyfriend doesn't care anymore. But as you both finished dessert and the wine stops flowing, he speaks. A full sentence.

"Lets break up.' His eyes not daring to meet yours, choosing to stare at his half eaten tiramisu. You can hear how strained his tone is, how he must have worked up a lot of courage to say this.

"'I'm sorry" he clears his throat before sitting up straighter then before. "I should have told you before, when I no longer felt the same way I used to feel about you". The rest of his apology becomes background noise, a low droning. You swore you felt your heart drop. The dress you had sent for cleaning tonight was now crumpled at how hard you were clenching at it. You feel numb, like you had expected it. All these weeks of radio silence.

"We can ignite that spark again. We can make it work. You don't mean it" was what you should have said.

"I still love you" is what you wanted to say.

"Okay" was what told him. You had unknowingly prepared yourself for the worst. You knew him all too well but even so, it doesn't hurt any less. For a person who valued communication so much, you knew there wasn't much to communicate. Not when the man you love refused to meet your eyes.

All that weeks of ignoring you, refusing any time with you and touching you. It was all so clear to you now. You felt like a fool. You felt like a fool for thinking after 10 long years of love, he'd want to fight for this. Every conversation, every meal you tried to have with him was all obligation he felt like he had to do.

You would have rather he cheated on you, ended it on bad terms or even just create a flimsy excuse using soccer. Anything but this.

How could the spark that had been glowing so bright for a decade suddenly distinguish you think?

Sae sits opposite you, silent and as still as a rock. That expressionless face of his doesn't give away what he's thinking. He looks tired you realised. Incredibly haggard. The dark eye bags heavier and more prominent near the candle light. 'How long did he wait to tell me?' you think. He must have spent nights trying to find a way to tell you without crushing you. Even after everything, he still found a way to cushion the fall after pushing you.

You can't remember what else happened that night, only the brief flash of guilt that passed his eyes.

Present time

You look back at the bright billboard. The man you spent nearly half your youth giving your heart to only for him to return it.

You didn't cry. You didn't kick a fuss. You just left without saying a word. For the past year, everything numbed inside of you.

And the man infront of you, makes you realise how out of reach he has always been. How he will always be the world's favourite. How he climbs up that ladder of success so effortlessly leaving you behind.

You hope that someone else has got what he's searching for but you prayed that that person was you.

The tears fall without notice, your chest contracts painfully as you breathe. Gasping a sob before covering your mouth and containing your tears. Itoshi Sae, the man you still loved now gone. Everything comes crashing, as you quietly sob infront of the billboard. How the realisation that you've lost him forever.

That entirety of 10 years was nothing to him. Someone was playing a cruel joke you think as you looked at him through your blurry vision of his pretty features. How you'll never feel those lips, feel his warmth anymore. You can't help but wonder, how long did he have to put this relationship until he finally broke. That while you were still pouring your heart out for him, he had completely lost it. Did he only love you cause he had to?

As you grieve for what you had with him. It all came crashing onto you.

Your world, your everything, your 10 belonged to everyone but you.

The Real Madrid, the press, his fans.

Everyone but you

[emilylawsons]

HI I’M BACK AND I FINISHED SEASON 3 AND I HAVE THOUGHTS™️

Newsreader spoilers under the cut

Okay first: THE NEWSREADER IS ONE OF THE GREATEST TREASURES TO GRACE TELEVISION AND IT DELIVERED ON EVERYTHING

ANYWAY…

The open ending as far as Helen and Dale goes—my shipper heart is a little sad we didn’t get a more explicitly romantic ending for them BUT these two have so much healing to do, and it starts with being exactly where they are. Finding peace and happiness as individuals before they give themselves to any relationship. And I think, no matter what any fan was hoping for, they can take this ending and decide how it goes for them. (Also the loving way Helen spoke to him and looked at him while she was talking to him off air. 🥹) They’re both exactly where they need to be and in their element, and that’s what the audience has been rooting for since day one.

THE PARALLELS AND CONNECTIONS TO THE FIRST EPISODE IN THE LAST ONE. Dale singing Kyrie in the car. Helen taking Dale home and talking care of him and “coming up with a plan.” Fucking brilliant.

Helen’s journey this whole season—getting a diagnosis and coming to grips with it. Being resistant at first but coming around and COMMITTING to getting better even when it’s hard and she hates it—frickin’ facing the place where she was locked up and endured additional trauma. She truly came into her own, and I’m just continuously blown away by Anna Torv and how, in every single project she does, she puts so much care and thoughtfulness into how she portrays her characters and the difficult situations they face. And she’s just a fucking incredible actress. THE SCENE IN 3.03 AFTER SHE GOT HER DIAGNOSIS AND CALLED DALE BROKE ME. I don’t think anyone else could have portrayed Helen. I just don’t. And Helen’s arc was all the more satisfying because the writers/creators decided to trust their talent and make her just as much a part of the creative process.

And Dale…oh my boy Dale. Sam frickin’ Reid the actor you are. Dale’s character arc has to be one of the most intense and challenging I’ve ever seen on TV, and Sam probably had the hardest job. Dale’s breakdown? OH MY GOD. We always knew Dale needed to break. He would have to be driven to the brink to be human again. And, just like with Anna as Helen, there was no one more qualified to bring Dale Jennings to life. Holy shit. Incredible, meaty, deep storytelling happens when you have creatives with a vision and actors they’re on the same page with. Sam got it from day one, and he saw it through to the end.

But Helen and Dale, stars of the show they are, are not the only incredible arcs we got to see. THE SATISFACTION OF WATCHING LINDSAY CUNNINGHAM GET KICKED OUT ON HIS ASS AND DENNIS SITTING IN HIS SEAT. The stuff of legends. And not just Dennis getting his moment (which we absolutely saw coming after he clocked Lindsay last season), but JEAN FUCKING PASCOE yelling at him from across the newsroom. I clapped. I cheered. And you know, I even cheered a bit for Evelyn Walters in all of it. She’s out for herself and still doesn’t get it (and Geoff was far from a victim), but she stood when it counted. She took action on one good thing. And watching them all collectively work together to get Lindsay what he deserved? Delicious.

And then we’ve got my girl Noelene who also went through The Most™️ oh… She’s got so much to figure out about standing up for herself and what she wants, and Rob’s got so much growing to do to be a better husband and father. But she did stand up for herself. She stopped being afraid to tell people how she felt and what she needed. She called Rob out on his racist tendencies and opened up to him about her work/motherhood balance, and she called out Helen for using her like everyone else and overworking her, and they both listened. She has hope ahead of her, and it was beautiful to see.

A few other small notes:

The whole Dale/Kay dynamic was so strange, but it needed to happen. Her constant comparisons of him and Geoff helped fuel his necessary fall. And it served to show what a terrible place Dale was in.

Cheryl got married!!! Good for her 🩷

Fuck Bill, and congrats to Helen for being like “I’m not gonna be punished because I didn’t wanna fuck you”

Tim gets a well deserved love and happy ending!!!

I’m really happy they brought back Linus. What a treasure.

Overall, as sad as I am to see this show go, they delivered on all counts. Everything they said they would be, they were. Every arc, satisfying. Just so beautifully and masterfully done, and with love by everyone involved. 18 episodes of perfection. And if Michael Lucas and Emma Freeman ever produce another show together and hire Anna Torv and/or Sam Reid or any of the wonderful-across-the-board cast? I will get my VPN’s worth as an American and be there for it.

[haveyouseenthisskeleton]

Can I have skeletons reacting to a narcoleptic S/O? Like they have that medical condition that makes them sleep randomly.

Undertale Sans - .... What do you mean it's a medical condition? Yep. That's how Sans figures out what it calls lol. Sans is narcoleptic as well. He doesn't have cataplexy like you, but that's one of the reasons he's sleepy all the time and is so tired despite sleeping so much. That's a big change in his life to be aware of it. He learns to live with it watching you live with it. It still tenses him a little to watch you randomly collapse while he's talking to you, but he's used to it by now. He feels sorry you two can't do things sometimes because you're collapsing on top of one another and sleeping for hours like this.

Undertale Papyrus - He became an expert at predicting when you're going to fall. He sees when you're struggling. He won't lie, at first he thought you were mocking him trying to imitate Sans and he got a bit upset, but it turns out that's a real thing and now he's having an existential crisis. Is his brother lazy or does he have something similar? Because that for sure looks familiar to him. Oh well, nothing he can't adapt to. Papyrus is the best at adapting!

Underswap Sans - He's a little annoyed he can't be excited around you as excitation triggers cataplexy. He can get used to it with time, but he is still frustrated you can't follow him in all of his adventures because of your narcolepsy. Also, when he's really focused, he tends to forget you behind and doesn't notice when you fall asleep, which can lead to some awkward situations where you wake up lost and all alone.

Underswap Papyrus - You found out that Honey's service dog who alerts him when he's about to pass out can also detect when you're about to fall asleep. So Honey called the organization that gave him the dog to see if you could have your own service dog too. Now there are four service dogs at home for Honey's greatest pleasure and you know when to sit down or call for help outside thanks to them.

Underfell Sans - Red had that bad habit of getting out of the way when he sees you fall lol. He knows he's supposed to catch you but all his little head can see is your giant body falling on him and he never reacts fast enough. So, uh, since it's upsetting you a little, he pretends like he totally saved you now and that you only have bruises because some of his bones are sharp. You're suspicious but you can't really prove anything.

Underfell Papyrus - He needs to protect. You're giving him anxiety. How is he supposed to save your life if you fall asleep while running away? Edge doesn't like when you randomly fall asleep, especially outside, because he's always scared someone will hurt you. He's nervous when he has to leave the house, and he hates when strangers come to help you. He doesn't like the idea of a lot of people knowing this weakness and yes, he might be a bit protective.

Horrortale Sans - He has the same type of narcolepsy you have so you're having interesting days. Usually, when one of you falls asleep, the other falls asleep soon after, and it sometimes sends you both into a sleep circle and you need Willow to step in to save you two lol. Oak thinks it's funny you're so similar sometimes.

Horrortale Papyrus - He's already used to it with his brother, so that's fine. Unfortunately, Willow can't catch you when you're falling though, so when he sees you acting weird he screams at you to sit on the floor. Sometimes it feels like he has eyes behind the head as he can scream at you to sit from anywhere in the house. You're pretty sure he has a weird superpower or something.

Swapfell Sans - He's patient, so whenever you fall while you two are talking, he pauses what he says to catch you, wait for you to wake up, and then unpauses what he was saying and keeps going. Nox doesn't mind, even though it can sometimes stress him a little when it's happening several times in a row. Well, to be more precise, this is fine now. At first he thought you were possessed and locked you outside by fear you transformed into a zombie or something.

Swapfell Papyrus - One second you're in the couch, falling asleep, the next one you're on the top of Mount Ebott. Rus favorite game is to teleport somewhere every time you fall asleep and watch you get extremely confused when you wake up. He could never get bored of this, which is sort of a problem. He could never take this seriously, sorry.

Fellswap Gold Sans - Every time you fall asleep, he picks up a broom and pokes you in the ribs to see if you're alive. You never know. Maybe you died and he can finally have your money, you know. You hear him let go a discreet "damn it" every time you wake up. You're not sure if you should be offended or not about it.

Fellswap Gold Papyrus - Well that's perfect. Since you're confused every time you wake up, he teleports you to bed and pretends like you were cuddling him so you cuddle him. You're pretty sure you cuddle Coffee twenty times today but he keeps assuring you it's not true. You have doubts, somehow.

[jamieroyjamieroy]

Bucktommyfluffebruary Day 3 - Spider-Man Kiss

@bucktommyfluffebruary

Buck loves spending time with Tommy even when he has to share that attention with others. It gives him time to sit back and admire his boyfriend and how animated and passionate he can get about his interests. Even if Buck doesn’t necessarily share those interests. The way he is debating movies with Chimney is fascinating to him. He has no idea what they are talking about, having tuned out the moment superheroes were mentioned. Buck chuckles at them both defending their choices in who would win in a fight. He can’t take sides he has no clue who they are talking about or their powers. Buck is just happy to be sitting beside his love, hand on his thigh and watching the laugh lines on his face. The gasp Tommy lets out has him tuning back into the conversation.

“How can you skip the original trilogy Howie? So many pivotal moments happen that are alluded to in all future Spider-Man movies, not to mention TV and movies since!” Tommy exclaims, incredulous about Chimney’s confession.

“Yeah, yeah but the cringe factor. Especially the third one. I’ve seen the dancing clip I don’t need to watch the whole movie, or any of them. Like you said it’s throughout pop culture now, why waste my time?” Chim fires back.

“Ok that’s fair. The third one is definitely not the best but you miss out on so many good scenes from the other movies. Catching the tray in the cafeteria, not getting beat up by a young Joe Manganiello.” Tommy starts to list the moments he loves from the movie.

“Is that the werewolf guy you showed me in that vampire show? With the blond sexy vampire?” Buck cuts in the name seeming familiar to him. He has been shown a lot of movies and shows since being with Tommy.

“Trust you to remember that show Buck.” Chim snickers at the blush on Buck’s face.

“What can I say, I appreciate the classics” Buck replies wiggling his eyebrows at his brother-in-law.

“You appreciate the nudity.” Chim declares knowingly.

“Yeah that too” Buck can’t keep the smile from his face.  

“What about the iconic Spider-Man kiss. How could you not have seen that?” Tommy asks disbelievingly.

“I have, in so many things. I’ve even seen stills of it. Just not the movie it’s from.” Chim shrugs.

“What’s that again? What kiss?” Buck asks trying to remember any that stood out from the copious number of movies he has watched of late.

“You deal with that, I’m making more popcorn.” Chim says gesturing at Buck and walking into the kitchen.

“Come on Evan we watched all the Spiderman movies. Every iteration. Not to mention all the Marvel movies. It was in the first Tobey Maguire one.” Tommy replies deflating at his inability to share his love of movies with Buck.

“Is that the guy in those hobbit movies?” Buck asks thinking back to what he had been shown.

“Different actor. That’s Elijah Wood. And he was in The Lord of the Rings. The Hobbit is a different movie.” Tommy says rubbing a hand over his face.

“Are you sure?” Buck asks he could have sworn that it was the same actor.

“Very sure.” Tommy looks at him with a fond but sceptical look.

“Is the Lord of the Rings the one where Sherlock and Watson are doing dragon role play?” Buck asks digging deep into his memory and unconsciously stroking his hand along Tommy’s thigh. He feels Tommy shift under his hand.

“What? Dragon? NO! I mean, that movie is part of the universe but not the movie Elijah Wood is in. Who is not Tobey Maguire.” Tommy rubs at the bridge of his nose, opening his legs a little more as the hand moves higher.

“Ok so is the Spiderman you are talking about the one where Bucky is flirting hardcore with the dude with metal wings?” Buck asks a grin on his face, surely he has it right this time. Even if he doesn’t he is enjoying watching the emotions play out across Tommy’s face. The blush creep across his cheeks as his hand moves higher again.

“They weren’t flirting! Ok maybe they were but why do you remember Bucky?” Tommy tries to maintain his normal tone as strong fingers kneed into his thigh. Casting glances to his kitchen, hoping Chim won’t be walking back in anytime soon.

“Well you are obsessed with him and you know the whole Buck/Bucky thing. I pay attention to what you like. When Bucky flipped that motorcycle around, I understood the appeal. And when he has Black Widow sitting on his chest, wow! Not sure who I wanted to be more in that scene!” Buck continues to move his hand over Tommy’s leg.

“Ok that is part of the Marvel universe which Spider-Man is in but the one I’m talking about is in a completely separate trilogy of movies. Different actor.” Tommy says

“I’m confused.” Buck replies removing his hand from Tommy’s leg as Chim walks back in with more popcorn.  

“Me too!” Tommy groans out throwing his head back.

“Did you decide which movie we are going to watch?” Chim asks sitting on the other side of Buck and pushing him closer to Tommy. Tommy wraps his arms around Buck and pulls him in close, kissing the side of his neck. Savouring the closeness Buck melts into the hold.

“Nope.” Buck replies stealing the bowl of popcorn.

“You pick Howie.” Tommy sighs with resignation a squeeze on his leg promising better things to come when they are alone.

“Iron Man it is!” Chim cheers grinning over at Buck who can’t contain his grin.

“Did you orchestrate all that so Chim would get his way?” Tommy whispers into Buck’s ear sending vibrations throughout Buck’s body.

“I may have.” Buck shivers “Besides if you aren’t as interested in what movie is playing you might kiss me more.”

“You are an evil genius.” Tommy mutters kissing Buck’s birthmark “Too bad for you I wanted to watch Iron Man.” Tommy settles back with a chuckle as Buck sputters and gapes at his grinning boyfriend. Damn it, he will just have to make Tommy pay for that. He considers doing it now but decides spending some time just being held by the big strong arms around him is worth the price of watching a movie he doesn’t care about. Maybe he will get his own Spider-Man kiss as a reward.

Read on Ao3

[mattsbratt333]

TW: The following contains mentions of r*pe, SA, and religious trauma.

I went to a very bad religious school growing up, that gave me severe religious ocd and trauma, that I was too scared to talk to my parents about until I left the school.

Thankfully, I am in the process of healing and trying to forget and undo the trauma I have. I do not like to consider myself "religious" in the sense that I have to do or partake in any specific religious activity to earn my salvation. However, I personally believe that God is more of a father figure and a loving God rather than the harmful things I was taught and feared of as a child. I want to state that regardless of my view on God and religion, I believe everyone should have their own opinion and view and I am no where near entitled to speak on how people should live their lives. However, I am only stating how I live my life.

When I was fourteen years old, there was this boy at my school that was known for molesting his younger sister. I blame the school leaders for not forcing him to leave this school as he was only there because his parents made him attend. He would watch me and sometimes follow me as well. As I was too scared to speak up to anyone about this I continue to not say anything and avoid him at all cost.

One day I went to go walk to the bathrooms, and he followed behind me. Thankfully I saw him walking behind me from the glass doors that showed his reflection. Panicking, as I knew that I was alone and he was following me, I sped up as fast as I could. I cannot express the fear and the pit in my stomach as I realized that nobody was around to help me. I thank God so much for protecting me in that moment, because a former police officer who was now a teacher at that school so happened to exit the mens bathroom at the very moment that the boy was close to catching up to me. I have never, in my life experienced a relief like that before.

So when I say that rape is not a kink or a joke or a subject to write fanfic about, I mean that with everything in me. I cannot express how sick to my stomach I am about the things i am seeing on this app. Seeing everything makes this all come rushing back to me, and I cannot sit back and not express my concern. I don't really know what to say or how to say what i'm feeling, but know that if you support any form of that terrible account, I ask that you would block me immediately. I am trying to heal and seeing kinks about something that I barely escaped from experiencing first hand makes me sick. I cannot even imagine the pain from those who have experienced something as terrible as this.

My heart is hearting for all of you, that have experienced this or have been close to this happening to them. Please know that I am here for you all, I understand how hard and damaging experiencing religious trauma is and how these terrible acts of evil can hurt someone. Please reach out to me if you need to talk or rant. Because I know that as a fourteen year old living in fear of the things she was taught, that it is a living hell.

[admirationandromantics]

As You Wish

Another request! Trying to keep up writing while doing school work, but this is the best I can do at the moment, lol. I have to say, this one does contain spoilers for one of my favourite movies The Princess Bride. Basically, you and Chris watch it together. Anyway, hope you like this.

Word count: 2,5k (unedited)

im evil and wanna give you this prompt real bad wether you write it or NOT Chris and reader- bonding over loving princess bride and watching it together. Flirting the whole time like "lol that's so us" "i know right.." leading to.. "as you wish" being said right before he absolutely RAVISHES THE SHIT OUT OF YOUUU -@brwnbnny

I grab the bowl, putting the popcorn in it while Chris gets the glasses. He puts the ice cubes in them, before taking the bottle as well and moving everything to the living room. I finish up before following him. He’s already sitting down on the couch, clicking on the controller to find the movie. I walk up to him, putting the snacks on the table. 

“So, have you seen it before?” I ask, sitting down beside him. 

“I actually have” he smiles, looking over at me. I give him a surprised look, after all, he doesn’t strike me as the type to have seen these types of films. 

“You’ve actually seen The Princess Bride?”

He lets out a small laugh, shaking his head a bit before meeting my confused gaze. 

“I have, hard to believe?” 

“A little. When did you see it?”

“Long time ago, come on, lets just watch” He smiles, leaning back, hand laid on the back of the couch, arm crooked open for me. I shrug, letting it go. We could talk about that later. I lean back, head nuzzled against his shoulder, legs plaid over him. 

He starts the movie, and since it’s not the first time watching for either of us, we keep talking during it. I watched intently in the start, loving the “As you wish”-parts, but eventually, his babbling won me over, making me join in on the discussion. 

“She’s literally treating him like horseshit” He says, taking another bite of the popcorn. I roll my eyes at him. 

“Character development, Chris” 

“She falls in love with him because he does everything she asks without complaint” 

“And you don’t?”

“No, I- ohhh…” 

“That’s what I thought” I laugh, kissing his cheek. He shakes his head, hand going to my neck, pulling me in for a real kiss. We don’t pause the movie, and when he pulls away, he looks me up and down, breath hot and heavy. 

“You love me because of more than that though?” he whispers, a small smirk playing on the edge of his mouth. I smile, biting my lip. 

“You know I do, Handsome” 

We continue watching, after several times having told him that nothing will happen until the movie is done. Of course he talks during the fight scenes, especially when they’re fencing. 

“Oh, imagine me with a sword!” he exclaims. 

“And now, imagine me with it” I smile, looking over at him. 

“That’s hot, but honestly, I don’t think you would’ve managed to lift it” 

I punch him in the arm, making him act jokingly offended and hurt. I shake my head before turning back to the screen again. The man in black is at the last test, picking which cup to drink from. 

“I actually don’t remember how he did this” Chris admits, leaning back and watching curiously. I keep shifting my gaze between him and the screen, watching his reactions. 

“Oh my god, can this guy just pick already?” He asks impatiently, sighing. I shake my head, putting my hand on his thigh, knowing he’ll soon remember the answer to the test. 

“Ohhhh, they were both poison…” 

Finally, the guy has gotten to the princess, and I take hold of Chris’s hand, knowing what’s to come. As the character bicker, I look over at him, his mouth finally shut while he watches the screen intently, fully entranced with their fight. 

“It’s him! Come on!” He yells, of course remembering the twist. 

“And she throws herself down after him? Oh my god…” 

“It’s romantic!” I argue. 

“It’s insane” 

“I would throw myself down a hill for you” I smile, and his demeanour instantly changes. 

“Oh really?”

“Yes, really” I laugh, leaning over, a playful smirk on my lips. His hand goes to my waist, pulling me closer. My breathing gets heavier, but he interrupts my protest to watch the movie. 

“Or maybe I could throw you somewhere else…” He whispers, lips ghosting over mine, his hot breath on my chin. I lean forward, kissing him quickly before pulling away. 

“You know, we never do pay attention to the movies we watch together” 

“Yeah, it’s a lost cause” He smiles, leaning over me, grabbing my thigh. My finger goes to his mouth, signalling for him to stop. 

“But this is the exception, because I love this movie” I state. His mouth opens, capturing my finger between his teeth, tongue making contact with it. 

“Christopher!” 

“Okay, okay! We’ll finish the movie” 

I laugh as we sit back up again, easily noticing the bulge in his pants and the small flush on his cheeks. Oh god, he’s adorable like that. I bite my lip, making sure not to rile him up more, knowing he’s not going to be able to contain himself. 

“We’re not going to survive!”  “Nonsense, you’re only saying that because no one ever has”

I look over at Chris, but his head is already turned to me, knowing what I’m about to say. 

“You know… That’s something you would say”

“I probably would”

“And the best part is that you wouldn’t mean it in a funny way, you would actually mean it” 

“Well, technically the odds are against surviving, but if no one has, then the chance is higher that you would. Let’s compare this to gambling..”

“Here we go” I sigh, putting the movie on pause to let him explain his theory. 

After he’s done, we continue watching, with the occasional input of “that's so us” or “that's something you would do/say”. I lay myself on top of him, nuzzling into his neck, the popcorn on his lap. As the princess comes on screen again, wearing a long light blue medieval dress, I point. 

“That’s my favorite outfit in the movie” I whisper, hand lowering into the bowl, taking a few pieces of popcorn. He hums, studying the outfit. 

“It’s pretty, you would look great in that” 

I let out a small laugh, turning my head to look up at him. 

“Are you saying you want to see me in medieval wear?”

“Haven’t you talked about seeing me as a knight before? This is the same” He defends. I force my attention back to the movie, now imagining him in armour. Fuck, this couch is going to get water damage if I keep thinking of him like that. 

We both watch intently as the princess about to kill herself, a dagger to her chest. And then, Westley interrupts her. 

“There’s a shortage of perfect breasts in the world, it’d be a pity to damage yours” 

I bite my lips to stop myself from bursting out laughing, the heartfelt moment when she realises she’s alive goes right over both of our heads. 

“That is something I would say” Chris admits, and I give him a small nudge. I look up, seeing his gaze is down on my chest. I grab his chin, tilting his face up. 

“Eyes up here” 

“Those are pretty too, but that wasn’t what I was admiring right now”

I shake my head again, leaning against him as his arm tightens around me. He doesn’t even try being subtle about looking anymore. I can’t even remember every time the others have caught him before I have, on group functions. 

The movie finally finishes. Over an hour of flirting and built up tension is released as the end credits roll, and he immediately pushes me down on the couch, body pressed firmly into mine. 

“Chris!” 

“Oh, I have waited long enough” he whispers, voice low, tone scarily firm as his hands wander over me. His fingers pay with the hem of my top, hooking then slowly moving underneath it. I already feel my body heat up, remembering all our talking and banter. He wants this so bad, and he’s been waiting for hours. So have I, panties soaked. His knee goes between my legs, letting me grind down on him. 

“Tell me, tell me what you want” he whispers against my neck, leaving soft, needy kisses from my jaw to my collar. 

“Take me… right now” 

“As you wish…”

“You don’t know what that does to me…” I whisper, arms going around his neck to pull him closer. His hand makes its way down under the hem of my pants and panties, feeling my soaked folds with his fingers. 

“Oh, I think I know” he smirks, closing the distance and meeting our lips. He dips his fingers into me, causing a loud moan to erupt from my chest. He uses the opportunity to put his tongue in my mouth, exploring every corner, and swallowing every single whimper. His thumb goes to my clit, rubbing soft circles, not too hard, but so soft that I push myself into him, craving more. 

“You’re desperate” He chuckles, noses brushing against each other. 

“For you? Of course I am” 

He lets out a low groan from my honest reply, the words sinking in, making him realise that the teasing would have to end. I know he wants me badly, we both do, so he might as well just give in. The fingers inside me hurriedly move out, making me feel empty and needy. 

Luckily for me, he doesn’t waste time, pulling off his shirt in a swift motion before working on me. I help him, sitting up as he drags my top over my head, revealing my chest. 

“You were not wearing a bra this entire time?” 

“No” 

“And you didn’t tell me?” He smiles, leaning over me again, groping one of my breasts harshly, taking me by surprise. 

“Fuck, Chris! Y-you seemed like you were already struggling through the whole movie” I whimper, throwing my head back on the couch. My legs go around his torso, pulling his pelvis into mine, our pants still in the way. 

“How considerate of you… Now, let me return the good deed” 

He sits up again, both hands going to my hips, grabbing the hem of my pants before dragging them off and throwing the piece on the floor. Body leaning down over mine again, he takes in the sight of my soaked underwear, hands caressing my inner thighs. Fingers slowly moving upwards in an almost ghostly manner, making a cold shiver run down my spine as I let out a needy sigh. He grabs my panties, and I suddenly hear a ripping sound, followed by the cold air hitting my wet heat. I look down, shocked. 

“You did NOT just rip my panties off?”

“Shut up, I’ll buy you new ones” He breathes out, seeming like he’s in a completely different headspace. 

“And judging by your reaction…” He moves his fingers over my folds again, throbbing with need. “... I just turned you on even more”

His tone is dark and husky, completely unlike his usual manner. Voice coming from the depth of his chest as he breathes heavily, as if even talking feels difficult. Without warning, he leans down, lips and tongue meeting my heat, pleasure running through me from every little touch. My thighs automatically try to close in on him, but he holds them apart with ease, groping my skin till it turns red. I don't even notice the pain of it, too obsessed with the mixed feelings coming from my whole body. 

My core builds up easily, considering he knows my body like he knows himself. Just too much. My legs give out, shaking as I finish on his lips. I try to steady my breathing, but he doesn't give me time. I didn't even notice him taking his sweatpants off. Instead of waiting, he uses the opportunity to coat himself in my juices, slowly pushing into me. 

We both give out loud moans, and he throws his head back, holding onto his base as he little by little goes deeper. Once he’s all inside, he leans over me again, brushing some strands of hair off my face before kissing me. I let him in, again trapping him with my legs around his torso, pushing him as deep as he can manage, making him hit my cervix. I gasp, the small pain being overrun by the pleasure of him on and in me. My arms go around his shoulders and neck, and he bends down his upper body, pressing us together and kissing my neck as he starts moving. 

“Fuck… you know to make me a mess” he growles, biting the skin on my jaw. 

“C-Chris…”

“Mmm, I love hearing my name like that” he whispers, his breath hot against me. I can already feel him getting hotter and sweatier, pounding into me while steadily upping his speed, almost making the whole couch move with him. 

My fingers run down his back, nails grazing his skin as I meet his lips with mine. I open my mouth, letting him in as I do the same, exploring him inside, dancing around each other. My hips buckle into him, back arched while he gropes my breast, the other hand going to hold himself up. His muscles flex as he does, making me want him even more. Blonde hair resting on his forehead, almost sticking to his skin. I bite down on his lip, making a needy moan escape him. 

He goes faster, leaning up and gripping my hips to push himself as deep as he can. His hands leave red imprints on me, matching the blue and purple suction marks and red bites. I moan with every single push. The roughness is getting to me, every pound making him hit my cervix, making me cry out in pleasure and pain. I don’t tell him to stop, I want him to do this, to take me. 

“I’m gonna…” He whimpers, unable to finish the sentence. I understand him, nodding my head as I try to keep breathing, head dizzy and body sore, but still activated from the ecstasy running through me. His thumb goes to my clit, and I grind my hips down on his finger and cock, craving the extra stimulation like I’ve never done before. 

He pushes into me one last time, thumb still rubbing my clit as we come at the same time, riding each other out. We both cry out, loud moans sharp before the deafening silence filled with our breaths. He lays on top of me, head on my chest as I wrap my hands around him, bodies sticking together from the workout. 

“So, I guess quoting your favorite movie really gets you going, huh?” He chuckles, tilting his head to look up at me. I shake my head in response, brain foggy and vision blurry. 

“Well, then you’ve got another trick up your sleeve then” I smile, ruffling his hair. He only laughs in response, grabbing my hand by my wrist and leaning over me again. He captures my lips on his, this time filled with care and comfort, the softness of it making me sigh. As our bodies slow down, the air feels colder. 

“Let's take a shower?” I offer, already getting up. 

“As you wish”

[cherryxbooo]

Tim Bradford x younger reader. Reader is in university and lived next to the Bradfords her entire life. She was there for him when Isabel ran away.

You make everything better

Summary: You never expected to be the one there for Tim when his first love ran away.

Reader x Tim Bradford

Genre: fluff/angst(ish)

The Bradfords had always been part of the background of my life.

Their house was right next door, the kind of place that never felt imposing, yet it was one of those houses you couldn’t help but notice.

Big but not overwhelming. Quiet but never completely still.

I didn’t pay much attention to them growing up, not really.

Tim was just the cop next door, and Isabel, his wife, was always the one you’d see bringing in groceries or tending to the flowers.

They were a picture of normalcy, or at least, that’s what it seemed like from the outside.

I always had a vague sense that Tim was someone different, though.

He was a cop, after all, and while I didn’t know the details, I could tell that job had a way of changing people.

The long hours, the emotional weight of it all, it was clear that Tim carried it around, even if he didn’t talk about it.

He wasn’t the kind of person who shared much.

In a way, that silence became part of him.

But he had Isabel. She was the lightness to his quiet, his grounding.

Or so I thought.

I didn’t hear from them much, but I noticed when Isabel started to pull away.

It wasn’t obvious at first.

Little things, like how she’d come home late from work more often, or how Tim’s shifts seemed longer, somehow.

But then one day, I noticed that the porch light, which had always been left on late into the evening, was off.

I didn’t know what was happening. I didn’t even realize the full extent of it until the whispers began.

I didn’t know much about their life. All I knew was that Isabel left. People talked.

They said Isabel had gotten caught up in something, something to do with drugs, maybe, and that Tim was too wrapped up in his work to see the signs.

And then, one morning, she was gone. Vanished.

And Tim? Tim was still there.

I didn’t know what to do. We’d always been neighbors, nothing more.

I’d never had a real conversation with him, beyond pleasantries when we bumped into each other in the yard or when I’d wave from across the street.

But as I watched him from my window one afternoon, sitting on the porch in complete silence, I felt like I had to do something.

So, I did what anyone would do, I grabbed a plate of cookies, the kind my mom always made when someone needed comforting, and walked over.

The air had grown cooler with the fall, and the leaves crunched beneath my feet as I approached his house.

The familiar smell of wood and earth drifted over from the yard, but there was a heaviness in the air that made the whole place feel different.

When I knocked on the door, Tim answered, and for a moment, I couldn’t recognize him.

The man I had always seen with his dark hair neatly combed and his uniform pressed was now wearing a faded shirt and a tired expression.

His eyes, though, his eyes were what caught me off guard.

They were dull. Tired. Like he hadn’t slept in days. Or weeks.

"Hey, Tim," I said, unsure if I was doing the right thing.

"I made some cookies. Thought you might want some."

His gaze softened, but there was still a trace of wariness in him.

He glanced at the plate of cookies, then back at me, his mouth pulling into a small, tight smile.

"Thanks," he said, his voice rough as if he hadn’t spoken much recently.

"Can I...?" I hesitated, glancing at the porch. "Can I sit with you for a bit?"

Tim nodded, stepping aside so I could enter. The house was quiet, unnaturally so.

There was something unsettling about the emptiness.

I followed him outside, where we sat on the porch swing, the sound of the chain creaking softly in the air.

We didn’t speak at first. Neither of us did.

There was nothing to say that could make things better.

I looked over at him, and it struck me how much older he seemed. There were deep lines around his eyes now, shadows under them, as if all the sleepless nights were etched into his skin.

The air between us hung heavy, but I didn’t want to force anything. Not with Tim.

I didn’t know what he needed.

But eventually, he spoke.

"You must have probably heard it.," he said quietly, as though it was hard for him to even admit it out loud.

"People around here like to run their mouth a lot, but it's true. She left."

I wasn’t surprised, but I was still caught off guard by the way he said it, like the words were foreign to him.

I didn’t know what to say, didn’t know how to comfort him, but I didn’t need to speak.

Tim wasn’t someone who needed a lot of words.

"I thought we were solid," he continued, almost to himself.

"I thought... I thought everything was fine." His fingers tightened around the edge of the swing, his knuckles going white.

I had heard rumors.

Whispers about Isabel’s drug use, about how things had started to spiral out of control, but I hadn’t known any of the details.

And now, as Tim spoke, I realized that none of that mattered.

The details didn’t matter.

It was the fact that everything he thought he knew about his life had been turned upside down.

Tim’s job had always been his first priority.

It had to be.

But in the end, it had taken more from him than just time, it had taken his connection with Isabel.

I didn’t know what to say to that. I couldn’t offer solutions or quick fixes, but I could be here.

So, I just nodded, offering a small, sympathetic smile.

"I’m really sorry, Tim," I said softly. "You didn’t deserve that."

He let out a deep breath, his shoulders sagging as he finally looked over at me.

"I didn’t see it coming," he said, his voice coming out low.

"I didn’t see her slipping away. I was too focused on... everything else. On work. I couldn’t even see what was happening in my own home."

I couldn’t imagine the guilt he must have felt.

But all I could do was sit there and listen, let him talk if he needed to.

"You don’t have to have all the answers right now," I said after a moment.

"You’re allowed to be... lost. It’s okay not to know what comes next."

Tim gave a short, almost humorless laugh, and for a brief moment, he seemed like the Tim I had always known.

The one who was steady, even in his uncertainty. "I guess I am lost," he said, shaking his head.

"I just... don’t know where to go from here."

I didn’t have any grand advice, didn’t have any perfect words to make it better.

But I could tell him this:

"You don’t have to figure it all out at once. You can take your time."

There was a quiet pause. Then, Tim looked at me, his face softening just a little.

"Thanks," he said quietly.

"I don’t know what I’m doing, but... maybe you’re right."

We sat there in silence, watching the sky darken, feeling the weight of the moment settle between us.

Tim didn’t have to say anything else.

I didn’t either.

Sometimes, just being there was all that mattered.

And so, that’s what I did. I was there.

I didn’t have the answers for him, but I could offer him this small moment of peace, even if only for a little while.

It wasn’t much, but in that silence, it was enough.

Days stretched into weeks, and weeks into months and as the time passed, I found myself at Tim’s house more often than I’d initially planned.

The reasons varied, of course.

Some days, it was just to check in on him, to make sure he was eating or getting enough rest.

Other days, I brought food, sometimes it was simple takeout from a nearby café, or sandwiches I made between classes, nothing fancy but enough to share.

But more often than not, I came just to be there.

To fill the empty spaces that seemed to surround him, whether that meant sitting in silence or trying to spark a conversation when I could see the weight of his thoughts pressing down on him.

Each visit felt like a quiet reassurance, for both of us. For him, because I was giving him the time and space he needed, without expecting anything in return.

And for me, because with every passing moment, I could feel the walls he’d built around himself begin to crack just a little bit more.

It wasn’t that I was expecting some grand breakthrough, but it was the small things, the subtle changes, that mattered the most.

He didn’t ask for much, but somehow, I could tell that just having me there made things a little easier.

We didn’t always talk. In fact, there were times when the silence between us was thick, heavy, but not uncomfortable.

Sometimes, it was like we didn’t need words. Like just being in each other’s presence was enough to offer some comfort, some small piece of healing.

I could see the way he’d look at me out of the corner of his eye when he thought I wasn’t paying attention, those fleeting glances that spoke volumes.

He’d never say it out loud, but I knew he was starting to rely on me, even if just a little bit.

There were nights when we sat outside on the porch swing, the world going on around us, but we were there in our own little bubble.

I’d bring over sandwiches, and we’d eat in silence, the rhythmic creak of the swing the only sound between us.

I’d never been one for forced conversation, and Tim was always a man of few words.

But those nights, with the sun setting low in the sky, everything just felt... peaceful.

Like nothing needed to be said for it to be understood.

One evening, I arrived a little later than usual since I had back-to-back classes.

The streetlights were already flickering on, casting long shadows across the yard.

I had grabbed some sandwiches from the café I passed on my way to his place, still warm from the grill.

As I knocked on the door, the usual stillness inside his house greeted me, and Tim opened it almost immediately.

When he saw the bag in my hands, his expression softened for just a moment, a slight but noticeable change from his usual tiredness.

"Another day, huh?" I said with a small smile, holding out the bag of sandwiches to him.

He glanced down at the bag, then back at me, his tired eyes betraying a hint of something deeper.

He hesitated before accepting it, like he wasn’t sure whether he should let me in again.

His lips parted, and I caught a small flash of guilt or perhaps embarrassment before he spoke.

“You didn’t have to,” he muttered, looking at the bag in his hands.

It was the same phrase he had used before, but this time, it sounded different, less dismissive and more... unsure.

I stepped past him into the house, not even bothering to wait for him to fully open the door.

“I know I don’t have to,” I said, brushing past him with a teasing grin.

“But I want to. Besides, someone’s got to make sure you’re eating, right?”

I noticed the faintest flicker of amusement in his eyes, but it quickly disappeared.

Tim didn’t laugh much these days, and that was something I’d come to accept.

But there was something else in the way he watched me as I set the sandwiches on the coffee table.

It wasn’t the tired, distant look he had when I first started coming by.

This was different, there was something in his gaze that made me pause, something that said he was beginning to see me again, not just as the person who brought food, but as the person who had been there for him.

The person who wasn’t going anywhere.

“You know,” he said quietly after a beat, his voice almost hesitant,

“I never really asked for any of this. I never asked for someone to keep showing up like this. But... I don’t know, Y/n. I guess I’m kind of glad you do.”

He looked down at his hands for a moment, as if trying to find the right words to explain himself.

I felt my heart give a little lurch at his words.

I could see how hard it was for him to open up, how uncomfortable he was letting anyone in, especially after everything that had happened.

But I was here. I had been here all along, and I wasn’t going anywhere.

“You don’t have to say anything, Tim,” I said softly, sitting down beside him on the couch.

“You don’t have to thank me. I’m not here because I feel obligated. I’m here because I want to be. And because... you’re my friend and neighbour. And I’m not going to let you go through this alone.”

He turned to look at me, his expression unreadable.

But there was something in the way he held my gaze, something that made me feel like maybe, just maybe, he was starting to trust me again.

Not completely, not yet, but he was letting his guard down just enough to see that I wasn’t going to walk away.

“I don’t know what to say to you sometimes,” he admitted quietly, almost to himself.

“I feel like I’ve messed everything up... with Isabel, with everything. And... I don’t know how to make it right.”

I watched him for a moment, the vulnerability in his words making my heart ache.

He had never been one to show weakness, not to anyone. But in that moment, I could see the cracks in his armor.

It wasn’t easy for him to admit how much he was hurting, but I could feel the weight of it, the guilt he carried from everything that had happened.

“Tim, you don’t have to have it all figured out right now,” I said, gently placing a hand on his arm.

“You don’t need to fix everything all at once. You just need to take it one step at a time. And I’ll be here for all of it. Okay?”

He didn’t reply immediately, but I could feel the tension slowly draining from his body as he leaned back into the couch, his gaze unfocused, lost in his thoughts.

I stayed quiet, letting him process everything in his own time.

After a few moments, Tim sighed deeply, his shoulders slumping slightly as he relaxed into the couch.

“You’ve been showing up a lot lately,” he said, his voice quieter now, like he was trying to figure out what this all meant.

“And I can’t tell if it’s because you feel bad for me or because you actually want to be around me.”

I turned to him, my eyes soft.

“I’m here because I want to be. Because I care. And because... I know you. Tim Bradford, who’s always been too stubborn to let anyone in, and yet here I am, sitting on your couch, talking about feelings like we’re some emotional soap opera. You don’t get rid of me that easily.”

He gave a small, reluctant chuckle at my teasing tone, his lips curving upward just slightly.

“You’re impossible.”

“And yet,” I said with a grin, “here you are.”

We fell into a comfortable silence again, the kind that didn’t feel forced, the kind where two people didn’t need words to fill the empty spaces.

There was something unspoken between us, something that told me that whatever had happened before, we were on the right path.

Tim wasn’t healed, he wasn’t perfect, but I could see the shift, the subtle change in him.

The walls weren’t down yet, but they were starting to crumble. And I was right here, standing by, waiting for him to let me in completely when he was ready.

It wasn’t going to be easy.It wasn’t going to be quick. But it didn’t matter.

We had time.

It didn’t take long for others to start noticing too.

One afternoon, I decided to stop by the station to bring Tim lunch.

I figured since my classes were done early, why not get something for Tim?

He was buried in paperwork, as usual, but I didn’t mind waiting for him to finish his shift.

I didn't bother letting him know I was here since I knew sooner or later he would take his lunch break anyways.

I found myself seated in the break room, scrolling aimlessly through my phone, trying to keep my mind occupied as the day dragged on.

As I settled into a chair, I couldn’t help but notice how different the atmosphere felt.

The usual hum of chatter was punctuated by occasional bursts of laughter or complaints about long shifts, but today there was something more, something that seemed to linger in the air.

It wasn’t just the usual noise; it was the weight of unspoken things.

Things I couldn’t quite put my finger on, but I felt them pressing in from all sides.

I was trying not to overthink it, but I had a sinking feeling in my gut.

A few minutes passed before the door to the break room opened, and Lucy, walked in.

She glanced around the room and her eyes immediately landed on me, a teasing smile spreading across her face.

"Well, well, look who it is," she said, her tone light but with that unmistakable edge of curiosity.

"You and Tim are spending a lot of time together these days, huh?"

I froze for a second, caught off guard. I hadn’t thought much of it before, but now, under Lucy’s sharp gaze, I realized how conspicuous my visits had become.

It wasn’t like I was hiding anything, it was just... complicated.

I cleared my throat, trying to act natural, though it felt impossible under her intense scrutiny.

"I’ve known Tim forever," I said quickly, offering a weak smile.

"We’re just—uh—friends. I’m just helping him out while he’s dealing with everything." I shrugged, hoping the explanation would sound casual enough.

Lucy raised an eyebrow, clearly not convinced. She crossed her arms and leaned against the doorframe, her smile widening as she looked at me.

"Uh-huh. Sure," she said, her tone dripping with amusement, though there was an underlying curiosity that made me uncomfortable.

"You sure it’s just that?"

I laughed awkwardly, not sure how to respond.

"Yeah, it’s nothing like that," I said, forcing a more confident tone.

"Just... making sure he’s okay."

Lucy didn’t seem entirely satisfied with my response, but before she could say anything else, Angela walked in, her presence soft but steady, as always.

She gave me a brief, knowing glance, then made her way to the coffee machine.

She took a slow sip of her coffee, then glanced at me, her expression casual but thoughtful.

"Everything okay with you and Tim?" she asked, her voice carrying that undertone of concern that I was getting to know so well.

I shrugged, trying to keep things light.

"Yeah, just trying to be there for him. You know how it is."

Angela gave me a small, understanding smile. "Uh-huh," she said, her voice warm.

"Well, he could really use someone like you right now. He’s been through a lot."

There was a certain empathy in her voice, a softness that made it clear she wasn’t just speaking out of curiosity but out of genuine care.

I nodded, though my throat tightened slightly.

"I know," I said quietly. "I’m just... I’m not going anywhere."

Angela studied me for a moment, her gaze steady. "Good. Because he needs you more than you realize."

I didn’t know what to say to that, so I simply nodded, grateful for her understanding but also feeling that tug in my chest.

He needed me?

The words sounded so simple, but I knew they carried more weight than either of us could truly express.

I wasn’t sure if I was the right person for him, but at least I knew I wasn’t going to turn my back.

Just then, Tim walked into the break room, his tired eyes immediately locking onto me.

The usual exhaustion seemed heavier in his steps, but when he saw me, his face softened, the corners of his lips turning up in a faint smile.

"Hey," he said quietly, his voice rough from the long day.

"Hey," I replied, standing up to hand him the bag of lunch I had brought.

Tim’s eyes flickered over the bag before meeting mine, and for a moment, there was a hesitation in the way he looked at me, like he was unsure whether to accept it or not.

But then he sighed, a weary but grateful exhale, and took the bag.

"You didn’t have to, but... thanks."

I watched as he sat down at one of the nearby tables, unpacking the lunch while I leaned against the counter, my heart quietly thudding in my chest.

Angela, who had been standing by the coffee machine, exchanged a glance with Lucy, her smile now knowing.

Lucy, still leaning against the doorway, gave a small smirk before turning her attention back to Tim.

"So, you finally caved, huh?" she teased, nodding toward the food.

"She’s got you eating lunch now."

Tim rolled his eyes, but there was a soft chuckle beneath the exasperation.

"It’s not like I have much of a choice," he said, still looking at the sandwich like it was some sort of rare treasure.

He glanced up at Lucy.

"Besides, I’m not complaining. I’m just not used to people looking out for me like this."

There was a vulnerability in his voice that I don’t think he meant to show, but it was there, in the quiet undertone, the subtle shift in the way he spoke.

I knew Tim wasn’t the kind of guy to ask for help.

He was the one who fixed problems, not the one who leaned on others.

But somehow, with me, it felt like he was starting to let go of that.

Angela watched the exchange closely, and then, as if sensing the shift in the air, she turned to Lucy.

"You know, Tim’s been through a lot recently," she said quietly, but loud enough for Tim to hear.

"He’s lucky to have someone like Y/n looking out for him."

Tim’s expression softened, but there was a flicker of something, embarrassment, maybe, crossing his face.

He didn’t want to acknowledge what was happening between us, and I could tell he didn’t want to make it into anything more than it already was.

But the way Angela spoke, the way Lucy subtly nodded her head, it felt like the room was starting to see something I hadn’t even fully acknowledged myself.

Tim cleared his throat, looking between the two of them.

"Can we not do this?" he muttered, his usual gruff tone returning.

Lucy just grinned. "We’re just saying, Tim. You’ve got someone good by your side."

He shot her a glare, but the smile tugging at his lips betrayed him.

"Yeah, yeah," he muttered, picking up his sandwich.

"Now, let me eat in peace."

I couldn’t help but chuckle at how Tim was, even when the attention was on him.

He was the kind of guy who liked to keep things quiet, low-key, but deep down, he had a heart bigger than anyone could guess.

I’d seen it in the little moments.

In the subtle ways he would smile when he thought no one was looking, the quiet gratitude he’d show when I checked in on him.

But what nobody else saw, what no one else truly understood, was that he wasn’t just letting me help him.

He was starting to let me in.

And that, in itself, was something I’d never taken for granted.

Months went by, each day gently nudging Tim closer to healing.

It wasn’t immediate or obvious, but I could see the small shifts in his demeanor.

The subtle way he would offer a half-smile when I arrived at his door, the ease with which he would share a quiet moment with me on the porch swing.

Slowly, he started to settle into the routine of his life again.

Work at the station, though demanding, seemed to bring some comfort to him, and I often found myself bringing him lunch or joining him for a coffee break, simply to be there, without expectations.

One evening, nearly a year after Isabel left, I found myself sitting with Tim on his porch again.

The night was unusually quiet, the world around us seeming to pause in a peaceful stillness.

The trees swayed gently, and the air smelled like summer, warm and comforting.

Tim had wrapped up his shift earlier than usual, and we found ourselves sitting together, the familiar rhythm of the evening comforting and unhurried.

I stole a glance at him from the corner of my eye. He was staring out at the stars, but I could see the subtle tension in his shoulders.

The way he exhaled a little too deeply, as though he was letting go of something that had been weighing on him.

It was a feeling I had grown used to, the heaviness he carried.

But tonight, it felt like something was different.

The night air was cool, the gentle breeze rustling the leaves above us, and I could feel the calmness settle into my bones.

Everything was quiet, except for the soft rhythm of our breathing and the occasional sound of crickets in the distance.

I turned my head slightly, stealing a glance at Tim.

He was sitting so close, his presence so palpable, but he still had that same tired, thoughtful look in his eyes that I had come to recognize over the past few months.

But now, there was something softer in him, a quiet strength, a peace that hadn’t been there before.

For a moment, I simply let my fingers brush against his, the simple touch lingering in the air between us.

The connection was natural, easy. It wasn’t the first time our hands had brushed like this, but tonight, it felt different.

There was an unspoken understanding between us now, something we hadn’t put into words yet, but that felt like it was always there.

I felt the warmth of his hand against mine, the solidness of it, and it made me realize just how much he had come to mean to me.

Tim looked at me then, his eyes meeting mine with that softness I hadn’t seen before.

It was like he was letting down the last of his walls, the final pieces of the armor he had put up after everything with Isabel.

I could feel the weight of it, the healing that had happened, the painful journey he had been on, and I was there, right beside him, supporting him, but also, silently sharing in his transformation.

"I don’t think I ever really understood what it meant to have someone by your side until now," Tim said, his voice soft but heavy with emotion.

He spoke with such raw honesty that it made my chest tighten.

"I think I’ve always been so used to carrying things alone... But you, you’ve made it easier, without even trying."

I squeezed his hand a little, my heart aching with all the things he hadn’t said out loud but that I could hear in his tone.

"I’m just here for you, Tim," I whispered. "I always will be."

There was a long silence, but this time, it wasn’t uncomfortable.

It was full of understanding, full of all the emotions we had shared over the past year.

Tim shifted closer, the space between us becoming just a little smaller, but it wasn’t rushed.

It was like we were both giving ourselves permission to feel this moment, to let it settle in without trying to force anything.

He leaned his head back slightly, his gaze shifting to the stars above us.

The night was clear, and I followed his line of sight, watching the stars twinkle in the vast expanse of sky.

The quiet was soothing, almost as if the universe was holding its breath for us.

"I didn’t know how much I needed this," Tim murmured after a while, his voice barely louder than the breeze.

"You’ve always been here, always had my back. I never really appreciated it until recently."

I turned toward him, my heart swelling with something I couldn’t quite put into words.

"You don’t have to say anything, Tim," I said softly.

"I’m just glad I’m here, that we’re here."

He met my gaze again, and for the first time, I saw something in his eyes that wasn’t just about the past or the hurt he had carried.

There was something new, something tender, something hopeful.

It was like he was letting go of all the things that had weighed him down and opening himself up to what was right in front of him.

"I think… I think I’ve been afraid of letting go for so long," he said, his voice catching slightly.

"Afraid of trusting again, of letting myself care for someone like this. But with you, it’s different. You make me feel like I’m not broken anymore."

My breath hitched, the vulnerability in his words piercing right through me.

I didn’t know what to say, so instead, I reached out, my fingers gently brushing his cheek.

The warmth of his skin beneath my touch made my heart race, and the moment felt so real, so tangible, that it made everything else seem distant.

He looked at me, his eyes holding mine with a quiet intensity.

And then, without another word, Tim leaned in just a little, his breath mingling with mine.

There was no grand gesture, no big confession.

It was just two people, sharing something that had been building for so long.

Something that had been quietly simmering in the background but was now ready to come to the surface.

The kiss came slowly, naturally. Tim’s lips were soft against mine, hesitant at first, like he was testing the waters, unsure of what this all meant.

But as the seconds passed, the kiss deepened, became more certain. His hand moved to my waist, pulling me closer, and I responded, letting myself get lost in the warmth of the moment.

There were no more walls between us, no more hesitation.

It was just us, in that fleeting moment where everything felt right.

When we pulled away, our foreheads rested together, both of us breathing a little heavier, but neither of us moving away.

Tim smiled softly, his thumb brushing across my hand in the gentlest of gestures, and there was a quiet kind of joy in the way he looked at me.

"You make everything better," Tim murmured, his voice low and full of tenderness.

I smiled, my heart swelling with the truth of his words.

"You do the same for me."

And just like that, in the quiet of the night, everything had changed.

The air between us was no longer filled with uncertainty or unspoken words.

It was filled with the promise of something new, something worth exploring.

Tim looked at me one more time, his smile wide, and without hesitation, he kissed me again, deeper this time, like he had found the peace he had been searching for all along.

I closed my eyes, letting myself be wrapped up in the moment, in him, knowing that this was just the beginning of something beautiful.

As we pulled away, I laughed softly, feeling lighter than I had in a long time.

"You’re not so bad, you know?" I teased, my voice playful.

Tim grinned, a spark of mischief lighting up his eyes.

"I could say the same about you."

I leaned back a little, still grinning.

"You know, this whole ‘finding peace’ thing is great and all, but I still have a paper due tomorrow. So… no more distractions from you, okay?"

Tim chuckled, his fingers brushing against mine as he leaned in once more.

"I think you might be the only person who could make me feel guilty about a kiss. But I guess I can’t argue with a paper deadline."

I rolled my eyes, laughing.

"Good. Because I’m already regretting not studying before I decided to spend all my time with you."

Tim smirked. "Well, I’ll make it up to you by making sure you get an A on that paper. I can be pretty persuasive."

"Only if you promise not to distract me more," I shot back with a wink.

Tim raised an eyebrow. "No promises."

And just like that, the world felt right again.

In that moment, with the stars above us and the quiet of the world around us, I knew everything was finally falling into place.

The end

[calamitoustide]

thinking about the tragedy that is canon jegulus

[selfinflictedgunshotwound]

sorry for only saying this type of shit lately but i kinda wanna drive a car straight into a brick wall at the highest speed possible